Mother's Love

I have been thinking about this excerpt from one of Erma Bombeck's books for days. I read it when my kids were little and it made me cry. I kept a copy in a "safe place." So safe I hardly found it again! Whenever I had to practice "tough love" - which with ADHD kids is almost every day, I would recite this to myself.

If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?) She begins:

“You don’t love me!” How many times have your kids laid that one on you?

Then she goes on to tell what the reply would be if she ever blurted it out.

I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom, and what time you would get home.

I loved you enough to insist that you buy a bike with your own money, that we could afford and you couldn’t.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover on your own, that your hand-picked friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you return that candy bar with a bite already out of it, to the drugstore and confess, “I stole this.”

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your bedroom; a job that would have taken me no more than fifteen minutes.

I loved you enough to say, “Yes, go ahead and go.” when you wanted to go to Disney World on Mothers’ Day.

I loved you enough to let you see the anger, see the disappointment, see the disgust and see the tears in my eyes.

I loved you enough not to make excuses for your bad manners and your lack of respect.

I loved you enough to ignore “what every other mother” did or said or permitted.

I loved you enough to let you stumble, to fall, to hurt and to fail.

I loved you enough to let you take responsibility for, and live with, the consequences of your own actions, at age six, age ten, age sixteen.

I loved you enough to shove you off my lap, to let go of your hand, to be mute in the face of your pleadings, so that you had to stand alone.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say “no” when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.

To all the Mom's - hang in there. You're doing the right things! You won't see the rewards of your efforts for a long time, but you WILL see it. And it will be worth it.