The Light Dawns...

Don't you love it when something you've been fretting over and gnawing at suddenly gets SO simple?!! I call those sudden moments of clarity - lighting bolts. I just had one.

The answer is something I already knew, but had forgotten. Again.

I am going through a new phase in my life. Lots of things have changed in the past six months, cumulating in us moving into my mother's home to be caregivers. I have made posts about these things and whined and cried about different changes. I ranted about feeling out of control. Every time a new "change" comes along, it's like rubbing salt in raw skin; I'm SO sensitive to it. I don't like change. Feeling out of control. Facing the unknown. Hello? OF COURSE, I'm going to feel that way. I am going through a NEW phase in my life!

I had forgotten my foundation of faith. The Lord loves me. He wants to bless me. He choses better for me than I chose for myself. GOD is in control. HE knows exactly where I am going and what I have to learn. The lessons I will get will give me EXACTLY what I need to be more valient and a better servant. I NEVER am in control! WHY do I have so much trouble "getting" that??? Instead of "kicking against the pricks," I need to spend more time on my knees. I KNOW where wisdom comes from - and it's certainly NOT my little brain!

I made a decision a couple of years ago. During "hard times" I was not going to ask "why me?" I was not going to second guess prior inspiration. I was going to be GRATEFUL. I would express my trust in His guidance. I don't see anything wrong in sharing your feelings with Him. I do because I know He knows ME. I am always straight-arrow with Him.

There have been times when I really hated what was happening. I have told the Lord that I was really uncomfortable with how things were going, but that I trusted Him. I was sticking it out and I knew He had a plan. I couldn't see how anything good could come from what was going on, but I trusted Him. He loves us and wants to bless us. I have had some wonderful witnesses of that love.

So - guess what? I'm there again. On the edge between faith and the unknown. He has a plan and I don't NEED to know what it is. I know enough. HE is in control and I am happy with that.