Needs - It's a long one

I have been thinking about "needs" and what makes us do things. Why some things are important to me and others aren't. Why the things that ARE important to me don't always match what others think is important. Complex stuff. Trying to sort things out. I'm sure this is part of way I am taking care of my mom. We are learning from each other.

I remembered this chart. It is called Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The link will take you to wikipedia and explain what it represents. Our more primitive needs form the base. When there is a deficiency in that level, all other needs are ignored until those basic ones are filled. Once they ARE filled, we move in our motivation to the next level and not until then.

For instance, if someone has lost their home to a tornado, they won't really be concerned if the clothes they are wearing are color coordinated. They will be worried about whether their family is all safe and where they are going to sleep that night. They will be looking for food and water. Once those needs are met and they have a safe, secure place to stay, they will want to contact distant family and friends. Those needs will drive their actions.

This is a very simple example of what I am trying to share.

I was thinking in terms of blogging. What is it that drives us to write? Journaling, short stories, blogs, fan fiction - what makes us do it? I thought it was the desire to communicate, but when no one is commenting, I still write. It's a process of recording. But why? What drives it? In the LDS church, we are encouraged to document, record, remember, share. It is part of our history. If the early members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hadn't written, much of our unique history would be lost.

I taught a lesson on Mormon, Chapters 7-9, today. It is the record of a lone man who is left to maintain, observe the events and record what he sees. He received the records of his people from his father. He accepted the responsibility of safeguarding the record. His father was killed in warfare with another group of people. He is the only one of his "tribe" of people left alive. His enemies search out remnants of his people and seek to kill them. He has no one to talk to. He has no permanent home. He does what he promised his father he would do. He remains true to his religion and faith in God. And he writes. It seems to me that his writing are more intense BECAUSE he had no one mortal with whom to talk.

The material he had to write on was limited. He was alone and would not make more ore to write on. He was limited in space for his comments. He had to choose his words carefully. We don't have his difficulties.

What drives us? What inhibits us? There is more involved that just Maslow's chart. It has to do with what stage of life we are in. Sometimes crossing those age barriers is difficult. I don't know what life is like for my mom. I used to say that trying to explain why a mom worries so about her teenagers was like trying to speak Chinese. There just is no common ground of understanding. The mom has had experiences that her child hasn't. The child can't understand the experience the mom is trying to share.

As a mom, I wanted to "spare" my kids some unpleasant lessons. Sometimes it worked, but most often it didn't. There is a learning curve. "don't touch - it's HOT!" didn't mean anything until they had been burned. Then they had the concept of "owie." Owie could be used to teach other safety lessons. There has to be a common touch point (reference point) to share information.

Like learning the color "red" - then you can describe the color of an apple, the inside of a watermelon, the sky at sunset, blood - a variety of things. From one concept shared. Maybe we can't understand another's need unless we have experienced that need. Maybe sometimes we just feel like Moroni - alone. But like Moroni, we need to keep doing what we promised to do and living true to the principles we believe in. Unmovable.