Class today was interesting. I'm repeatedly humbled by the opportunity teaching Gospel Doctrine gives me to grow and learn. It teaches me HOW to read the scriptures. It creates the curiosity in me to look deeper, research more. Every Sunday, I am the biggest recipient of knowledge.
I'm basically a straight arrow person. And I have to say that getting a testimony of Joseph Smith's vision did not come easily to me. In taking the missionary lessons forty years ago (holy cow - how did that happen? 40 years??!!), there were things that I did not question. I believed that that we should still have prophets and apostles. I believed that I had a "father" in heaven - a personal, loving parent - not some ethereal formless god. He had looked after me for years and I spoke to Him.
I wasn't sure about the Book of Mormon. It was hard for me to read. But - I received a witness that David O. McKay was the living spokesperson for the Lord. He was a prophet. In order for that to be true, all the rest had to be true and I accepted it in faith. I've wondered why my testimony started in that way - but it was enough. For most stuff.
When I went on my mission, we had to memorize the discussions. We had to testify to the fact that we knew that Joseph Smith DID see a vision, that he WAS a prophet. I could repeat his testimony almost word-perfect. But I couldn't bear witness. I COULD (and did) bear testimony that I believed those things to be true. And I felt badly about it. I felt like a phony.
I thank that same loving Heavenly Father for sending me to New York for my mission. I was born in Missouri, the "show me" state. Doing always teaches me more hearing or seeing. I got to see the birthplace of the Restoration. I walked the Sacred Grove - in the snow. I will never forget that day. I felt the spirit there. I didn't get my testimony, but I WAS touched. He knew what I needed.
I came back to California and went to school. I attended church. Sitting in Relief Society, one Sunday, I got my testimony of Joseph Smith. I don't know what the lesson was on that morning. They weren't talking about the Restoration. But the Spirit took me back to that grove and gave me a witness that what I had been testifying to actually DID happen. Faith wasn't necessary any more. I knew.
And there I was today - teaching this wonderful experience - WITH a testimony of it's truthfulness. I don't know. It was just so choice. It was the way I always WANTED it to be like while I was on my mission. I could stand there and FEEL the power behind his words:
I'm basically a straight arrow person. And I have to say that getting a testimony of Joseph Smith's vision did not come easily to me. In taking the missionary lessons forty years ago (holy cow - how did that happen? 40 years??!!), there were things that I did not question. I believed that that we should still have prophets and apostles. I believed that I had a "father" in heaven - a personal, loving parent - not some ethereal formless god. He had looked after me for years and I spoke to Him.
I wasn't sure about the Book of Mormon. It was hard for me to read. But - I received a witness that David O. McKay was the living spokesperson for the Lord. He was a prophet. In order for that to be true, all the rest had to be true and I accepted it in faith. I've wondered why my testimony started in that way - but it was enough. For most stuff.
When I went on my mission, we had to memorize the discussions. We had to testify to the fact that we knew that Joseph Smith DID see a vision, that he WAS a prophet. I could repeat his testimony almost word-perfect. But I couldn't bear witness. I COULD (and did) bear testimony that I believed those things to be true. And I felt badly about it. I felt like a phony.
I thank that same loving Heavenly Father for sending me to New York for my mission. I was born in Missouri, the "show me" state. Doing always teaches me more hearing or seeing. I got to see the birthplace of the Restoration. I walked the Sacred Grove - in the snow. I will never forget that day. I felt the spirit there. I didn't get my testimony, but I WAS touched. He knew what I needed.
I came back to California and went to school. I attended church. Sitting in Relief Society, one Sunday, I got my testimony of Joseph Smith. I don't know what the lesson was on that morning. They weren't talking about the Restoration. But the Spirit took me back to that grove and gave me a witness that what I had been testifying to actually DID happen. Faith wasn't necessary any more. I knew.
And there I was today - teaching this wonderful experience - WITH a testimony of it's truthfulness. I don't know. It was just so choice. It was the way I always WANTED it to be like while I was on my mission. I could stand there and FEEL the power behind his words:
"I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation."
Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith History 1:25
In our little branch we talk a lot about the importance of having a personal testimony of this. We believe that times and occurrences in the world are such that we won't be able to stand the things to come without this personal witness. I know what it is like to be able to say that I know the church is true and yet not be able to say that I KNEW Joseph Smith did indeed have a vision telling him that what he was looking for wasn't on the Earth at that time. I know the peace that knowledge brings. I hope the same is true for you.
We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ. He lives and looks after it as a bridegroom cares for His bride. It's true.
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