"MY Peace I Give Unto You..."

I find that I AM "getting a life." It's not very exciting, but it is my own. After 9 months of living with my mom, we are falling into a routine, of sorts. It's different than everything from before, but I am finally starting to feel "at home" at times. Some things just take me a while to adjust to. I am finding time for myself without feeling guilty.

A big part, for me, was admitting that I needed help sorting out all the feelings and pressures of the hand I have been dealt. I went to an Alzheimer's care giver support group which gave me much info. Gave me a map of the new landscape in th world I find myself living. Helpful, but not enough in the long run. As stress started attacking MY body and I started having physical symptoms as well as emotional overload, my good doctor suggested counciling. It's not like it is someting I have never done. Heck, I've spent a good portion of my adult life talking to SOME one about one traumatic event or another in my life. (Thank God) It wasn't a big step to say yes.
Enter the light at the end of the tunnel. Talking to this woman has been the best part of my life the last three months. She helps me see what I am dealing with in this bazarre relationship I have with my mom. She helps me define what is mine and what deserves to be left in the responsibility of others. This spring seems particularly significant for me. A re-birth. The fear just isn't there - which seems strange considering the events and economic conditions that surround us. I am peaceful.

John 14:27 - 27

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

I'm there.

It's quite unusual for me to feel this way, but here I am. And I count it to the Lord. I'm doing what I need to be doing. It's even okay that there are days when I rail and complain. It's part of the process. I have a lot of grief. This is my path.