Storage Units (and other constipations)

We are looking at making another move. If you talk to my husband, he SWEARS he married a gypsy. I can't even count right now how many times I have moved in my life. Maybe...someday when I'm particularly bored....or researching my autobiography... I will count them. But not today!

Suffice it to say, the moves have been many. I would REALLY like to have roots. I really would, but it doesn't seem to be in my destiny. And my devoted hubby cheerfully follows without making a negative comment. (HA! It's okay - I can lie to you. You'll never know the difference!) Two to three years seems to be our limit to stay in one residence. In just the last ten years we have lived in seven different houses!

Our last move involved putting most of our belongings into storage and moving into my Mom's house - which was about the point where I started this blog. Now the time has come to move out and say good-bye to this house. This has been my "home" figuratively and literally for about 27 years. My "parental" base is almost gone. My dad is gone. My mom's body is still here but my mom as a "mom" has disappeared. Now even the house will belong to someone else.

Dealing with this, and other losses, has somewhat emotionally paralyzed me over a period of many months.

I could continue to dwell in the land of " OMG! I'm loosing everything!!" for quite a while, I suppose. But facing this sale of the house and the reality of dealing with the mountain of belongs that my mom left and those we had stored has broke something free in me and made a big shift in my thinking. Each box I open, sort, make decisions over has given my greater and greater energy. Even greater clarity. Maybe there is something to the concept that emotional clutter that goes with physical clutter.

I started thinking today of those boxes as a form of emotional constipation. Boxed up emotions. Carefully wrapped sad feelings. Little boxes tucked in dresser drawers. Concepts hidden. Patterns stacked. Family secrets tucked in corners. Blockage.

As i have been dealing with the "stuff" of our temporal belongings, I have unknowingly have been opening the "flow" of a lot of hard things. I can make decisions. I can see things as "things" and not people no longer here. Objects only have the meanings that you give or attach to them. I've been a long time learning that lesson.

In that process of thought, it occurred to me that maybe instead of LOOSING those things, perhaps I was being CUT FREE from what was holding me back. A ship can't travel to a new harbor while tied to a pier. The sailors have to "cast off." (Interesting term, huh?) Airplanes can't fly while still tied down in the hangers.

Today I am grateful for freedom of movement!