I spend last weekend visiting my son. (Hadn't realized that I hadn't posted since my last visit with him.) This visit went much better! I still learned a lot of things, without the car problems.
I flew down alone and got a rental car. I stayed in the town where the prison is located and got to have three eight-hour visits with him, over the weekend.
I can't tell how much these visits mean to me. I don't get to go down as often as I would like, but know that the frequency would be much further apart if i were still living in Oregon. Every other month is better than once a year. I look forward to the visits, relish the time I have with him and then mourn the separation all over again. Leaving is like loosing him all over again.
This time I got a clearer picture of his day-to-day existence. It is so bleak, so boring, so limited. He has been incarcerated over a year now. He has seven more ahead of him. I don't see how he copes. the boredom factor. The lack of privacy. The deprivation. The loneliness. The isolation from family. I have no illusions as to his innocence. This is his restitution. As his mother, this is hard to watch.
His only break is getting mail and having visits. Those are his only touch with the outside world. That is his only touch with family. And it happens SO rarely...how does he cope? He almost never complains. He promotes a positive attitude and works to feel close to the Lord. he makes me laugh when I visit. HOW does he do it??
I have less confinement and more freedom and feel oppressed. I have more connection with people, and feel alone. I have transportation and funds, but mostly sit in the house. I have phones, computers and test messaging but seldom reach out. Do we make our own prisons?
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