Paula's Thoughts ... wherever they take me

Crochet - The Patterns We Create

2011-12-31T12:07:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a little about the spiritual lessons I have learned from crocheting. The Lord uses whatever touches your heart to get his message across. The things you know and love and understand on a temporal level are just fertile soil for a personal “parable.” I have learned that following a crochet pattern is like taking all the small foundational steps in building a spiritual life.

No one stitch seems that important as you are working along. If you lose count, or miss a stitch, it might not even be noticeable for quite a while. But – you have been building a pattern. Patterns are built on symmetry. If you don’t follow the pattern – exactly – you end up with something different than the designer intended. Not necessarily unusable, but different. If you want to create what the Designer intended, you must follow the pattern step-by-step.

To do that, after you notice your mistake, you have to go back to the point where you error-ed , and fix your mistake. That means tearing out the stitches in-between where you are and the last true step you completed. (Like repentance) You start again, correcting your error and continuing along in the correct pattern. When you look back, you can see what your obedience to the pattern produced – a beautiful work of art!

To me this shows the importance of daily prayer, scripture reading, temple attendance, sacrament taking, service, charity, etc. Individually – important. Individually – not too significant, from a temporal standpoint. But when you look at the entire project – the pattern will be confusing and the symmetry will be missing. It is only when you are obedient and you get to see the Master Plan…the beautiful garment that had been designed.

Thoughts on Aging

2011-10-21T00:22:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor's. Now, nothing good ever comes after that sentence, at least at my age.

I NOW have FOUR medicines I have to take every day just to make my body perform in within normal ranges, chemically. Three! I don't even LIKE taking pills. I have tried to ignore the situation, but when your body actually NEEDS something...it can make your day very unpleasant when you don't take it. Who is in charge here any way??? Obliviously, it's my body. Crap.

I went in because I hurt my knee last month. I have arthritis in both knees (and most of the rest of my body) and had decided that riding a bike would be a good exercise. It was going well until I fell. Of course, I hit my knee. The good one.

Structurally, it is fine. I can stand and walk on level surfaces with no pain. Anything else - there is pain. The action determines HOW much pain. Climbing stairs, going uphill or downhill, twisting, rising, lowering - you get the picture. I went back to the doctor because I haven't gotten back to the functioning level I was before the fall. The good news? I probably won't without an orthopedic surgeon's help. Now, later - it doesn't really matter. I WILL be going if I want to stay mobile. Yippie-ki-yay.

And I got a two-fer on this visit. In addition to that good news, my blood pressure is high and I now have to take medicine for that.

Which brings me to the title I chose. I'm struggling with the concept that my body is wearing out. I feel just the same inside as I ever did. But I find my body not being able to keep up with my desires. The things my body used to do without me even knowing or considering their importance, now, hold my activity hostage.

I don't remember ever even considering how important my kidneys were. I doubt you have either. The kidneys are important organs with many functions in the body, including producing hormones, absorbing minerals, and filtering blood and urine. Now I have to consider what might harm them. Seems a little late in the day for that.

I used to hike and run around and never even knew I had a butt. But these days, all I do is drag it around. There are days when it is all I can do to haul my wrinkly ol' keister out of the recliner. I think of the poem that says "How do I know that my youth’s all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went." But INSIDE, I still want to go and do!

I don't even think I knew what a thyroid was when I younger. I certainly didn't know what it controlled, which is almost everything. It's like a mini-PLC (programmable logic control center) for your body. I know I never thought about mine. Now it controls ME. My thyroid needs a back-up generator to keep my body on track. And the generator I have to use (medication) is not self-regulating. Unless you do the blood labs, you don't know how the dosage is fitting in with your body's activities. My body used to do that all on it's own.

I'm afraid I am going to be appreciating more things I knew nothing about as time goes on.

New Tag - My Life According to Google!

2011-10-18T00:03:00.000-07:00

Type in the following and choose from the first description found. BE HONEST! Don't just pick out one to be funny. I tag my girls and whoever else wants to complete it. It was a fun one! Let me know if you fill it out!

1: Type in "[name] needs" in the Google search:
Paula needs to get out more.

2: Type in "[name] looks like" in Google search:
"Paula looks like cheddar

3: Type in "[name] hates" in Google search:
Paula hates Dragon Fly Dale Hollow Lake, Tennessee

4: Type in "[name] goes" OR "[name] has gone" in Google search:
Paula goes Italian.

5: Type in "[name] loves" in Google search:
Paula loves Josh. (Wait until Tom finds out!)

6: Type in "[name] eats" in Google search:
Paula eats a lasagna sandwich.

7: Type in "[name] has" in Google search:
Paula has a record day.

8: Type in "[name] works" in Google search:
Paula works in Washington, D. C

9: Type in"[name] lives" in Google search:
Paula lives in Vancouver.

10: Type in "[name] died" in Google search:
Paula died today?

11.Type in "[name] does" in Google search:
Paula does pasta. (Probably because I went Italian?)

12: Type in "[name] will" in Google search:
Paula will not return to "Idol"

13.Type in "[name] is" in Google search:
Paula is stunned by Ellen.

The Many Lives of Socks

2011-10-17T23:46:00.000-07:00

My ex-sister-in-law gave me a pattern for making sock dolls years ago. she made some and they were SO cute! I've held onto it for years thinking that "one day" I would make some. It came to the point where I was either going to make them - or toss the pattern. Luckily, I decided to make some!

They are so easy and so cute - I think I am addicted. I hate it when I procrastinate on something and then find out I love it. I have made about 10 so far. I am planning to give them as Christmas presents.

This is my first one. She already has a home. I sent her off - naked - with one of my non-biological daughters. I didn't have a good clothes pattern at first. So I am delivering her outfit next Monday!

I forgot to take pictures after I embroidered her face and put her hair in ponytails. I will get a finished picture of her dressed next week, when I see her new Mom.

The bodies are easy and I like seeing them come together. It is the quickest part. It wasn't long before I had several naked, bald, armless babies! I have been experimenting on hair styles as I have gone along. I found there was a learning curve on handling the yarn on my sewing machine! My first couple "wigs" were interesting!

I wanted to try boys as well as girls - and immediately came up with Orville! His name just came with him and the red hair! I want to dress him in overalls!

This was my first short hair try. It was harder than I thought it would be, but I like it.

After seeing some babies on-line, I thought I would try making smaller...babies. I love them but don't think I can dress them. I'm just going to wrap them in a soft blanket.

My first two "completed" dolls! Not sure they really ARE completed...I keep thinking of other things that might look good.

I think these two are my favorite hair styles! I'm running out of ideas.

As I work on the next set of dolls, I think I will make a tutorial and post it. Too cute and too much fun not to share!

Who knew socks could be so cute!! They never looked that good on my feet!

Best Friends Animal Society

2011-10-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

There is an amazing place hidden away in the middle of nowhere. It's the Best Friends Animal Society

located just north of Kanab, Utah.

View Larger Map

It's location is in what is known as the Grand Circle of national parks. You can a magnificent view of the Grand Staircase, where I spent some of my BYU Survival class experience. The canyons of the Escalante are some the most beautiful I have ever seen.

Best Friends offers free van tours and their huge operation. We had a great tour guide, a native of the area, who works dedicated for the benefit of the animals they rescue.

They have quite an amazing history, and reputation, but I hadn't heard of them until my son told me of his visit there. There are seven animal areas at the sanctuary and each of them welcomes volunteers: Bunny House, Cat World, Dogtown, Horse Haven, Parrot Garden, Piggy Paradise, and Wild Friends. They are a non-kill shelter.

They have a separate section for older dogs. All the buildings are named after animals that holds a place in the heart of staff and volunteers. The dog buildings are built in an octagon shape. Six of the eight sides are formed into dog runs/kennels. Each unit is designed with the comfort of the dogs in mind. The units are roomy, have swamp coolers, radiant heating in the floors, and large runs.

The elderly dogs have soft, elevated beds. So thoughtful. My arthritis problems enable me to truly appreciate the blessings of not having to lie on hard concrete, and the increased ease of lying down, and rising from an elevated surface. Each unit has two doggy-doors to the outside yard.

They keep current info on each dog for accurate transfer of information between the shifts of volunteers.

The runs are spacious. The concrete walkways around the fence are for the security of the dogs. They prevent the dogs digging out, and predators from digging in.

The setting of this shelter is BEAUTIFUL! It's a retreat for the humans working there as well. As a visitor, I was jealous.

They are an arena for dogs who have been kept on a chain all their lives. They are unfamiliar with being confined, and being indoors. It provides a great training opportunity. It is used for agility training. They have staircases in there, linoleum floors, wood floors - all things the outdoor dogs haven't experienced before.

It was a great experience. Best Friends is the largest employer in Kane county, Utah, employing 500 people, including two vets who take care of all the medical needs of the animals living there. For the full length of their lives, or until the animals can be adopted into their new "forever home."

I found a blog, One Bark at a Time, written by one of Best Friends' volunteers. Fred is a Canadian, who works with the Toronto Animal Services. He came for a week. That isn't uncommon. Volunteers come from all over. Some make the visit their annual vacation. Volunteers are a large part of Best Friends' success.

I can't wait to go back again. It's an amazing place.

Mental Health Day

2011-09-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

When I was working, the time would come when I would become sick...sick of being at work. (Okay - I wasn't always the MOST dedicated employee. The truth can now come out!) I would call in sick and consider it a "mental health" day. We're taking one today...Tom and I...as retirees.

I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately. You too? Seems to be going around.

We are going to a place my son told me about. He visited it when he was working at Zion Ponderosa . He was pretty impressed. So we are going to Best Friends Animal Society. I will take my camera and post pictures later.

Autumn

2011-09-30T00:17:00.000-07:00

Autumn comes on silent feet;

You hardly know it's there.

Until one day you chance to meet

A crispness in the air.

Attitude Can Change Everything

2011-09-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

So many of my blog entries seems to deal with my struggles with accepting current situations. I seem to have such a hard time keeping a positive attitude.

I watched this video today. I was overwhelmed.

If someone with so many limitations can live so fully, so happily....what's wrong with me???

My body is not the body I had 20 years ago. As I age, my body reacts. And, still, I have more physical blessings to work with than this man. But I am not enjoying HIS quality of life.

What makes the difference? What made it possible for him to go from being suicidal at the age of eight to being a motivational speaker now? He changed his attitude. He subscribes to the belief that "Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude."

I need to work on mine. A lot.

30 Uses For a Wire Hanger

2011-09-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am bored out of my mind. I found a creative writing prompt - and here we have the result!

1. Hanging clothes

2, A back scratcher

3. Hot dog skewer

4. Make-shift marshmallow roaster - I hate them because the wire heats up and melts the marshmallow from the inside before it get toasty brown on the outside. It slips off into the coals.

5. I made a replacement hook for my recliner out of one when the original hook broke and flew across the room.

6. Framework for butterfly wings on a child's Halloween costume

7. Framework for angel wings on child's Christmas costume

8. Framework for a flower garland

9. Framework for a wreath

10. A tool for unlocking your car door - desperate times call for desperate measures!

11. Sometimes fatal abortion tool - we're going old school here

12. Hook for reaching ceiling fan chain

13. Slip a nylon stocking over it, bend it a little bit, and it makes a good cleaner for rain gutters

14. A electric outlet circuit tester - ask my son about the time the lights all dimmed and his hair stood on end

15. Cleaning out a clogged drain - take it apart and put a little hook in the end.

16. By rounding out the big opening, leaving the hook intact , cover it in aluminum foil and you can use it as a frying pan.

17. a radio or TV antenna

18. Repair a sagging car seat spring - cut the wire, and use it to retie the springs together.

19. A poster hanger

20. Temporary cotter pin

21. Paper-mache frame

22. Using the same pattern as #16, you can use it to make big bubbles to keep your kids entertained

23. A means to secure your trunk lid when you have to drive your too-long Christmas tree home

24. Repairing a chain-link fence

25. Make shift toilet paper holder

26. Row markers in a garden - put seed packet on them to show what's planted where

27. Gun-cleaning rod - straightened out, with cloth wad on the tip

28. Replacement hinge pin

28. Mobile hanger - one of those Sunday School teaching aids

29. Make-shift IV bottle hanger

30, To hold up a broker muffler until you can get it replaced

Charity Begins at Home

2011-09-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

It's taken me a year to start to blog about my son being in prison. I think they call that denial. It's always on my mind, but I don't talk about it much. There is an amount of shame that goes with it. The loss of his company and ease of contact has been very difficult for me. I have a hard time with the fact that most of the family doesn't seem to grieve his absence. His behavior and treatment of others bred this. He is not an innocent victim.

What I have learned through this process, so far, is the meaning of true charity. In our religion, we see the definition of charity as the "pure love of Christ." Think about that. To love as Christ loves. I pair that definition with the old motto - "Charity begins at home." I DON'T interpret that as meaning we have to GIVE to family first. I take it to mean we should love as Christ loves, judge as Christ judges - and begin this practice within our own family first. That doesn't always happen, does it? We tend to treat (and judge) our family members harder and with less compassion than those outside our home. Our defenses are down and it's easy to snap out a harsh judgement, a less-than-flattering comment, or be short tempered and selfish. Our home is our training ground in so MANY areas. Of course it would be the place to practice selfless love!

Have I always done that? Do I do it every day now? No. Am I aware of the task before me, the challenge the Lord was placed in my development? Absolutely. The only TRUE success I have had so far is in seeing my son as a child of God rather than the accumulation of his actions, choices, and past history. Through is experience, I can now see the child of God in each person...no matter how despicable. I KNOW how the Lord views each of us. Despite all our choices, actions, and deaf ears. That love has no bounds. He loves Hitler as much as he loves Christ. Chew on that one a while. He LOVES each and every one of his children, no matter how they feel about Him. Or if they recognize Him. Of if they blaspheme His name.

He doesn't approve of their actions. He doesn't excuse their choices. He mourns them. He aches over the loss of their company in the eternities ahead. He sees them for what they are - and LOVES them - and hopes, beyond hope, that they will change and come back to His way. And I think His process goes way beyond what I can even conceive or communicate. I know, in a small mother's way, the depth of His love and concern for those who do not walk in His footsteps. And it overwhelms me.

Favorite Old Record!

2011-09-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I found this song! When I was in 4th grade, my mom taught me to dance with this record! So fun to hear again!

Running the Gauntlet

2011-09-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

This is what my September has felt like so far.

Challenge #1: My Mom's health is declining. She has Alzheimer's and is in an assisted living facility. She is more confused, not wanting to eat and staying in bed most of the day. She has been fighting nausea and diarrhea the past several weeks. Her doctor feels she will benefit from going into hospice care. He feels she is very frail and may not last more than six months. I had to evaluate the information, talk to family members and make a decision.

Challenge #2: Tom began having health issues. There are now concerns with the condition of his heart. He is on oxygen now. We are doing tests to see exactly what is going on with his heart. This is on-going.

Challenge #3: I went for a bike ride and took a small fall. Didn't brake or skin-up anything. My right knee (which is the better one) took a HARD hit in the area below my kneecap. It flat part of that knee (the area you kneel on) has been numb since the fall. Totally no feeling on the surface. I'm walking fine - I can weight-bear. Mostly soft tissue damage, probably irritated the heck out of that bursa and it is healing slowly.

Challenge #4: Came from dealing with Challenge #3. After a week of my knee not getting better and being scared about having no feeling there, I went to the doctor. (I have no insurance, so going to the doctor is a last resort situation. Tom has VA to help him, thank God!) In taking my history, the doctor learned I hadn't had a mammogram for two years. She told me about a program that offered free mammograms to those who met the criteria. I met it. I got one.

I got a call the next morning that they had found a spot in my right breast and they wanted to take another mammogram to double check it. Of course they called on a Friday and couldn't get me in until Monday. WHY does bad news always come on a Friday?? And you have all weekend to stew and worry before you can actually DO anything about it???

It was a very LONG weekend - but by Saturday I had turned it over to the Lord. I figured He already knew the outcome of the test. He knew what was in store for me. Me worrying wouldn't do anything to change the situation. I decided to put myself in His hands (again) and through His strength I would be able to handle whatever the outcome would be. It worked out wonderfully. Turns out what they saw was a lymph node and it was perfectly normal. Amazing how a scare like that puts everything into perspective...

All of that within the same two weeks!

Walls Do Not a Prison Make

2011-09-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

I spend last weekend visiting my son. (Hadn't realized that I hadn't posted since my last visit with him.) This visit went much better! I still learned a lot of things, without the car problems.

I flew down alone and got a rental car. I stayed in the town where the prison is located and got to have three eight-hour visits with him, over the weekend.

I can't tell how much these visits mean to me. I don't get to go down as often as I would like, but know that the frequency would be much further apart if i were still living in Oregon. Every other month is better than once a year. I look forward to the visits, relish the time I have with him and then mourn the separation all over again. Leaving is like loosing him all over again.

This time I got a clearer picture of his day-to-day existence. It is so bleak, so boring, so limited. He has been incarcerated over a year now. He has seven more ahead of him. I don't see how he copes. the boredom factor. The lack of privacy. The deprivation. The loneliness. The isolation from family. I have no illusions as to his innocence. This is his restitution. As his mother, this is hard to watch.

His only break is getting mail and having visits. Those are his only touch with the outside world. That is his only touch with family. And it happens SO rarely...how does he cope? He almost never complains. He promotes a positive attitude and works to feel close to the Lord. he makes me laugh when I visit. HOW does he do it??

I have less confinement and more freedom and feel oppressed. I have more connection with people, and feel alone. I have transportation and funds, but mostly sit in the house. I have phones, computers and test messaging but seldom reach out. Do we make our own prisons?

Thy Will Be Done

2011-07-12T00:24:00.000-07:00

I've been updating my son's blog for him and it got me thinking. (His birthday is this weekend, so he is much on my mind. This will be the second birthday that I haven't been able to see him.) He was writing about our visit, just a couple weeks ago. One of the things we talked about was adversity...go figure. It seemed to be a good topic, considering.

We were saying how wonderful hindsight is. It's always 20/20! Looking back at a hard time, it's always easy to see the blessings and the good that came to you because of that particular experience. It's easy to feel grateful then. But what about DURING? How do you feel during the hard times? For me - I am not happy.

Now, I have an unusual way of looking at trials. I admit it.

I actually CAN express gratitude during the dark times because I know (if I listen and trust the Lord), it will ALWAYS turn out better than it was before the trial. I've been through enough of them - I DID learn that fact! I will never say "why me" again. I've whined enough in my younger years; I'm not doing that now! I express faith in His wisdom and love. AND I have been known to tell Him I don't see the purpose at this point, and I'm not enjoying the experience. But I always end with "Thy will be done." And I always end up on higher ground than when it all started. Sometimes I am a little skinned-up and emotionally bruised, but they were lessons I needed to learn - truly. I am always grateful on the other side.

My son has been studying a series of tapes about learning to become spiritually centered. He shared the idea that to be spiritually centered, one should be happy DURING the trial, as well as after. We had a good opportunity to examine that idea.

My husband and I had big car problems during our trip to visit my son. The van was in the shop five days and the repair bill was in four figures. It looked like, in the beginning, that I might not be able to make my visit with my son happen at all. My son asked if I was happy during all the stress of the situation.

I told him no. I told him that I had told the Lord that I trusted Him and that I knew there was a reason for this. I didn't have a clue what that might be. I told Him, "Thy will be done." What I learned was that I didn't really mean it. In my head, somewhere, I was thinking - "He knows how much I want to see my son. He knows how much this visit means to my son. He will make it possible for me to see him."

The first day that didn't happen. I believe that the Lord never closes one door without opening another one somewhere - and I was LOOKING for that other door!! But it wasn't there. We ran into road block after road block. No - I wasn't happy.

I went to bed in tears. I realized that I might NOT get to see Matt. I remember that I had said "They will be done" in the morning. I accepted and released. I felt peace. The next morning, the whole picture changed. We were able to get a rental (don't even ask my about why we couldn't get one the day before!!) and I got to visit.

Matt knew all this when he asked if I had been happy in the process. I realized the limit I had put on my accepting God's will. Matt shared that the tapes talk about this very thing. He said when a crisis arises - you should imagine the worse possible outcome.

For him, when I didn't show up on Saturday for our first visit; he knew that wasn't in my character. I would never just not show up. But he had no way of calling us, to make sure we were okay. He knew we were driving a long way and there is always the possibility of an accident. So - he imagined the worse possible outcome: there was an accident and we had been killed. Then he thought how that might be a blessing. He remembered that Tom and I had been sealed. He had been born under the covenant. We were an eternal family. Though he might miss me here on earth, he could have me forever. With that reassurance, his worst fears dealt with, anything that developed after that, he was ready to handle. So, I was late - but I was there. His spiritual self helped him through a scary time.

So on my side - the worse possible scenario was not getting to see Matt. I was not wiling to accept that possibility on Saturday. I SAID I accepted His will - but REALLY it was only as long as it matched MY will. I learned an important lesson. To accept His will means to be at peace with even the worse eventuality. To release and submit. I have never been good at that. Ask my husband! But I going to get better.

Break Out the Sparkling Apple Cider!

2011-07-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Mark this day in your journals! Today - for the first time in almost 12 months - MY STREET HAS BLACKTOP! Asphalt, before my very eyes!

(found on-line at http://sandspringsok.org/news-entry.php?cat=1063&id=1193)

Now, we have not had to deal with the inconvenience that long. We only moved in two month ago, and were told by the public works guy that it would be finished in two to three weeks. The bugger lied. For the past month, we haven't even been able to drive up to our driveway. They had open trenches all the way down our block, that they never worked on.

We had to park at the end of the block and walk in and out. On trash day, everyone had to pull their trash cans to the end of the street and line them up. Good exercise, admittedly, but a hassle when you are trying to buy groceries and get them in the house. (I know...whine, whine, whine...) (I'd give you cheese with that whine, but I'd have to carry it all the way down the street......oh wait...not any more!!!)

It's been another one of those "you don't appreciate what you have until you loose it" experiences. Who knew what a blessing it was to be able to drive our fully-loaded van up into our garage and unload it at our leisure? Another thing to add to my Grateful List!

Never Believe in Coincidences (Or "Doing Hard time" Part 2)

2011-07-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

When I last posted we were in Arizona, on a Saturday night, and Sunday looked very bleak. How symbolic, huh? The Saturday before the Resurrection must have seemed very dark, indeed. Well, we are safely back home...with our non-ailing car...and another testimony of the power of faith under our belts.

To continue the story:

I went to bed, after talking to my oldest daughter. I shared my pity party with her. I kept hanging onto the thought that I HAD said "Thy will be done." in my prayer about the car. Turns out my heart wasn't really in it, it seems. I would accept His will, but I wasn't HAPPY about it. (That particular point is very important.) Tom and I had thought of ONE more possibility of renting a car that night, but we couldn't do anything about it until morning. I went to sleep with the feeling that things were going to work out.

I learned later that my daughter and her husband prayed VERY hard that night on our behalf. I came to terms with the possibility that I might NOT get to see Matt. If my one little hair-brained scheme didn't work, I would let it go. But not until I had tried all options. I felt I needed to think "outside the box." The local agencies had plenty of customers for their limited supplies of vehicles. They didn't need to work with me. I considered that the renting rules might not be so strenuous at the airport car rentals. They have plenty of cars. So, I took a taxi to the airport as soon as their counters were opened and found a FABULOUS deal at a rental agency called Fox Car Rental. Forty-five minutes later, I was DRIVING back to the motel in a Toyota Camry!! Suddenly - everything was solved! We had a car until ours would be finished. I could see Matt half a day on Sunday and a full eight hours on Monday! Tom could make his pilgrimage to Bass Pro Shop and Cabala's. Hallelujah!!

I flippantly write that now. It was MUCH more powerful at the moment. I truly did feel like shouting Hosanna! And I feel it was more than my faith that helped the situation. I feel it happened because of the faith of my kids in praying on our behalf. My faith that night was a little tattered.

The car continued to be a headache. What had died in the van was it's car brain. ECU (Engine Control Unit - read that "computer"). They ordered, received, and installed a new one. Car still wouldn't run right. It DID start now, but ran like a wheat thrasher. (Never heard a wheat thrasher? Count your lucky stars!) They wanted to know if it had sounded like that before it broke down. I assured them it had NEVER run badly. They were running out of options and were of the option that it was an "internal engine problem." Really? They said we should tow it to the dealers - after we paid them $1200. The car is only worth about $1500-$2000 to begin with!

We had NO idea when or if the car was going to be fixed. We were tired and just wanted to go home. We decided that we would rather RENT a car, go home and wait for news at our own house. We called the repair place Wednesday morning and told them to "button it up" and we would be sending a tow truck to take it to the dealership. The manager asked if we would give him one more hour. He wanted to put two guys on it and have them go over everything one more time to see if they had missed anything. After five days, what difference did one more hour make? We agreed, knowing that one way or another, we would be sleeping in our own beds that night.

About an hour later, the manager called. Our car was perfect. We could come pick it up. (You've GOT to be kidding!????!) He wasn't. Seemed they missed checking ( or whatever) the coil. The coil had a dead spot in it and it was what shorted-out the old computer. They replaced the coil - and ANOTHER "Hallelujah" moment!! Life was beautiful! The sun came out (Boy, Howdy! We were in Tempe!! It is out with a vengeance!) And we hit the road!

I WILL go visit Matt again. But hell will have to freeze over before I DRIVE to the greater Phoenix area again! I shall fly - and rent a car. A lovely, air conditioned, late-model, RENTED car.

Doing "Hard Time" in a Motel 6

2011-06-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

There's an old quote: "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." Sometimes I think it was quoted for me.

I ALWAYS have the best of intentions...and nine times out of ten they don't turn out the way I thought they would. I think it is my inattention to details, glossing over with my enthusiasm, and never taking the limits of time and energy into consideration. I want to please everyone - which only brings conflict because it is impossible. Who am I to take "impossible" for the last word??? There HAS to be a way around that....

Such is the story of my weekend.

Almost year ago my son was sentenced to 10 years in prison. Probably only a handful of people know. Such is the shame level that comes from having someone you love screw up in a huge way. I've worked through whatever that was. I have never believed in "family secrets." They breed shame and low self-confidence. Yet, I succumbed. It's taken me a year to "come out of the closet."

I don't know what I thought was going to happen. Maybe people wouldn't notice that he is no longer in our family get-togethers? Maybe people wouldn't notice he was gone? Maybe they wouldn't notice the sad look in my eyes, at times, when I spoke of him? Now I find I can't share the happiest of getting to see him on the limited opportunities I have. People don't understand the importance of getting a letter from him. They probably wonder why we don't phone and text like the rest of the world. Letter-writing is becoming a lost art.

His prison is in a different state from where I live, so face-to-face visits, though possible, don't happen often. He has been in almost a year and I have only gotten to visit him twice. Once in February, and the next time was to be this weekend. He set up a special visit for me, since I DO live out of state; and we were have three consecutive days to see each other. It didn't turn out QUITE that way.

We arrived safely on Friday, after an eight hour drive, at our motel and settled in for the night. Early Saturday morning, we got ready to run the errands we needed to before making the trip to the prison. Surprise! During the night our van had given up the ghost. Will not start. No how. No way.

What to do? What to do?

My analytical mind snaps into action. "We'll get a rental car - and life will go on..." We get a tow truck. Get the van fixed. Carefully going down all the logical steps to getting the problem solved and us back on the road. Right? Wrong.

Van may not be resurrect-able. Due to our successful accomplishment of passing the Utah written driver's license test, we are now the proud holders of a TEMPORARY Utah DL. The rental car companies were not so impressed by our accomplishments. They don't rent cars to mere "Temporary" drivers license holders. You must have the actual CARD in your hand - which, by the way, WILL be delivered by mail in about two weeks. Yippee-I-Ki-Yay! We followed every lead, reasonable and non, and still found ourselves car- less, stuck in our Motel 6 room.

Now the problem with prisons is that they don't have voicemail for each inmate. They don't take messages. My son knew nothing of our frustrations. I had no way of letting him know WHY I wasn't there for our visit. He only knew he had set up a visit for me on Saturday and that I did not show up. He knows I had a long drive. He doesn't know if there was an accident. He doesn't know if I changed my mind? He doesn't know and has no way to check things out. I felt so bad that he was looking for a visitor and no one was there for him.

Saturday ends with us knowing our car will be visiting with the mechanics at least another 24 hours. We have no transportation. We know no one in town. We don't know what this is all going to cost! I know it is God's hand. I have to believe it is going to work out - somehow. (to be continued)

Geocaching and Pigs

2011-06-23T00:28:00.000-07:00

Ever since getting my "smart" phone, I have become addicted to geocaching! I found my first cache in Tempe with my middle daughter.

Since then, I have shared the experience with the rest of my daughters. Then I infected my grandkids...and it continues to spread. This was Faith's first find, but all shared the bounty.

And Cayden's first, again sharing.

I have found a variety of caches and had some great fun, but now I'm excited to create some of my own. Having seen some different ideas and hiding techniques, I have some ideas of what I want to place in my new home. Most of mine, to this point, have been urban hides. My new town seems to focus on the off-road variety. Of course, with the scenery around here, I know why.

Placing a cache, for the most part, is a way of sharing something or some place special to the one who creates it. There can be themes, or a series created. What I have enjoyed the most is the stories of these anonymous people who take me to a location, or a view point that I never would have known about without finding their cache. It is a good way to discover the hidden or historical places of interest in an area.

I personally like the ones that have room enough for treasures, called S.W.A.G. (Stuff We All Get). They are my grandkids favorites too. SWAG can be whatever you have - marbles, toy cars, little toys, deck of cards, coins, plastic animals, erasers - you get the idea. When you locate one, you may EXCHANGE treasures. Try to make them of equal or better value.

What goes into it is determined by the size of the cache container. There is always a log book that you sign to prove you found it. If there is room (some are QUITE small), there will be a pencil - and whatever "trades" you want to include.

I have found some VERY creative containers in my hunting, which is what brought me to this stage of my "hobby." I decided, after seeing it done by someone else, that I am going to put out one cache for each of my ten grandkids. It will be named after them, or something that they like. I'm starting with my oldest granddaughters (who will be visiting me next month). I will have the containers ready and, together, we will place them and publish them for other geocachers to locate.

One granddaughter, Faith, loves pigs...no....she LOVES pigs! She claims the nickname of "Pig." I know not why...She collects pigs. She draws pigs. She makes up pig words. (Source for another WHOLE posting) So, of course, she wants her cache to have a pig theme. It's name will be "Pigs of Faith." Of course.

W--E--L--L......Today I found the perfect container!

The pig of Faith.

It is a hard plastic pig made by Radio Shack, as a dieting aide. You put a battery in it, stick it into your refrigerator, and every time you open the door, it OINKS! LOL! Well - it won't be oinking long! I am going to morph it into a hollowed out container and this little porker will go down in geocaching history.

Oh - and the lady at the consignment shop, where I found it? I got her too! She's looking up geocaching tonight. They called the woman who was an unknowing carrier of typhoid fever "Typhoid Mary." What would they call someone who spreads a "disease" knowingly???

The Textures of the Desert

2011-06-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

Tumbleweeds in the spring.

Dried Foxtails

I don't know its name, but they are in lots of yards, including ours.

Same with this one. The bees and I love it.

Picking Assignment

2011-06-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at church they mentioned an apricot picking assignment for this morning at 6AM. I was so excited! I have never lived where they had a church farm. I have volunteered for the church canneries before, but to be part of getting those fruits to the canneries is just COOL!

I arrived a little after six o'clock and the parking area along the road was already packed! There were tons of people, whole families, seniors, everybody. A VERY fun elderly man, an amputee, was directing cars to open parking areas with a big smile. Told me everyone calls him "Grandpa Rick." I immediately adopted him.

They had picking baskets that you attached to a shoulder harness, so that your hands could be free. There were ladders available for the younger folks. Instructions were given as to what kind of fruit we were picking and what a ripe one looked like, and off I walked.

This was the first picking, so there were many still not ripe. We get to go back Wednesday, 6AM.

There were trailers in every other row.

When our baskets were full, we emptied them in the trailer and went back for more.

As the ripe ones started disappearing, it became like an Easter egg hunt! Trying to find the elusive ready-to-pick fruit!

When the hunt was over, our foreman "fired" us and we went home.

It went too quickly. I can't wait for Wednesday! I would love to start each day like this!

So incredibly beautiful....

So Utah...
if you look closely at the picture, you will see TWO LDS chapels....across the street from each other! Gotta love it!

Living in Utah

2011-06-12T21:26:00.000-07:00

Here I am - an Utah Mormon. How did THIS happen??

Let's see...we've been here a little over a month and there's absolutely nothing here that I hate! Instead, it seems that every morning I wake up happy - and it STAYS that way! What kind of a place have I moved too???

The perfect place - for us!

Spring

2011-03-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

I can officially declare spring has arrived! I wait for four signs every year. First comes the daffodils! I love seeing them pop out of the ground and wait anxiously for the blooms

The next arrival I look for are the robins. We live in an area where they migrate away and I look forward to their return.

Today I saw my first chipmunk!! Sign number three! They have come out of hibernation
.

And sure sign number four - I heard tree frogs last night when I took the dogs out! I forget I haven't heard them until they come back. It's a subtle night music that I'm glad is back.

LET THE SPRING BEGIN!!

Monday Momentum

2011-03-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Great beginning to a new week - Tom made pancakes for me this morning - with eggs! Tummy! Hey, I could get used to Mondays like this!

Also found a home for our old green recliner. This was the first BIG present I ever got Tom, and I bought it from the store Matt was managing at the time. That was about 10 years ago. It doesn't get to see the Promised Land. It has to stay in Oregon, but with a very nice family.

Bye, Big Green.

Brought another load from the storage unit today. Found all our "faith-promoting" pictures! There were so many paintings in my Mom's house that we couldn't hang them when we moved in. I LOVE my pictures of the Savior and look forward to hanging them in our new home. I can have my "family proclamation," "living Christ," and temple pictures back up! I love the Spirit they bring into the house. Now I have lots of paintings and photos to hang. Need walls, lol.

Waiting on the Lord

2011-03-20T22:14:00.000-07:00

Things are moving swiftly along to time for our move to St. George, Utah.

We are working on emptying the storage unit before the end of the month...and succeeding! Both of us are letting go of things we have held onto for years. Tom said that some of the boxes he has gone through haven't been opened in ten years. I'm so proud of him.

I think the tragedy in Japan has put things in prospective for us. Those people lost everything, including family. We are only keeping the things we REALLY love and count ourselves as blessed to be able to make those kinds of decisions. I have no problem seeing things go away. Things I used to think were important. I feel fortunate to be able to share the extra with others who need it. I get a real "united order" feeling about it. I have sufficient for my needs. the right thing is to pass the excess on. Not many times in my life have I been in this position.

The only thing we are not sure of yet is where we are going to live. Not a big thing, right? Every Sunday we have a couple who ask us if we know where we are going to live yet. It seems to bother them more than us. When I say not yet, they ask if that means we aren't going to go. i smile and tell them that we are still going. I know the house will be there when we need it to be.

I KNOW we are supposed to move to St. George. The Lord has always provided the most amazing places for us to live. I KNOW he will provide this time too. I know how naive this might sound to some. They don't know my history. I know how the Lord deals with me. I trust Him. If He has picked St. George for us, He knows what we need to make it happen. We are doing our part and just waiting to see the door open.

Waldport in the News #1

2011-01-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

Winter along the Oregon Central Coast brings rain and winds (40 -100 mph. depending on the storm). The third week of 2011 brought 8 inches of rain and 5-6 days of 50 mph winds. Living in a "dune" region - that means the sand is going to move. And it does.

The only way to get it out is with equipment. They don't make "sand" blowers.

The builders here, somehow, didn't take that into consideration. In Bayshore, this happens every winter. The houses on the northern point of the Alsea Bay get buried in sand and the roads disappear in the traveling dunes. The sand was even with the eves of the roof on this house before they dug it out and totally covered the doorway.

This shows the depth of the sand in the driveway.

This one is a vacation home and hasn't had any removal done yet. It is a beach-front house. Check out the height of the sand along the side, between the house and the power pole. Right now it is about a third to half buried. If they don't get the sand removed before the next big storm, they are in big trouble.

No sand removal on this. Driveway is buried. New dune is growing in the front yard, between the house and the garage.

Oh look! This one is for sale!! Perfect place for that lady with all the cats!!

People in our area often name their homes. It's a retirement/vacation area. Many are second homes for "snow birds." This one is named "Sand and Surf." A little more sand than surf right now.

Storage Units (and other constipations)

2011-01-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

We are looking at making another move. If you talk to my husband, he SWEARS he married a gypsy. I can't even count right now how many times I have moved in my life. Maybe...someday when I'm particularly bored....or researching my autobiography... I will count them. But not today!

Suffice it to say, the moves have been many. I would REALLY like to have roots. I really would, but it doesn't seem to be in my destiny. And my devoted hubby cheerfully follows without making a negative comment. (HA! It's okay - I can lie to you. You'll never know the difference!) Two to three years seems to be our limit to stay in one residence. In just the last ten years we have lived in seven different houses!

Our last move involved putting most of our belongings into storage and moving into my Mom's house - which was about the point where I started this blog. Now the time has come to move out and say good-bye to this house. This has been my "home" figuratively and literally for about 27 years. My "parental" base is almost gone. My dad is gone. My mom's body is still here but my mom as a "mom" has disappeared. Now even the house will belong to someone else.

Dealing with this, and other losses, has somewhat emotionally paralyzed me over a period of many months.

I could continue to dwell in the land of " OMG! I'm loosing everything!!" for quite a while, I suppose. But facing this sale of the house and the reality of dealing with the mountain of belongs that my mom left and those we had stored has broke something free in me and made a big shift in my thinking. Each box I open, sort, make decisions over has given my greater and greater energy. Even greater clarity. Maybe there is something to the concept that emotional clutter that goes with physical clutter.

I started thinking today of those boxes as a form of emotional constipation. Boxed up emotions. Carefully wrapped sad feelings. Little boxes tucked in dresser drawers. Concepts hidden. Patterns stacked. Family secrets tucked in corners. Blockage.

As i have been dealing with the "stuff" of our temporal belongings, I have unknowingly have been opening the "flow" of a lot of hard things. I can make decisions. I can see things as "things" and not people no longer here. Objects only have the meanings that you give or attach to them. I've been a long time learning that lesson.

In that process of thought, it occurred to me that maybe instead of LOOSING those things, perhaps I was being CUT FREE from what was holding me back. A ship can't travel to a new harbor while tied to a pier. The sailors have to "cast off." (Interesting term, huh?) Airplanes can't fly while still tied down in the hangers.

Today I am grateful for freedom of movement!

My Brother!

2010-10-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

Thirty-two years (1978) ago I learned I had a half-brother named David. I was 29 and had just had my first child. David was eight and his mom and our dad had just broken up. I was occupied with starting a family and loosing my grandparents for next several years. Time went by and I always thought about him and wondered if we would ever really get to know each other. He was always in the back of my mind.

Suddenly last year - we connected - through genealogy - on Ancestry. It was a miracle. We talked on the phone for months. We planned on meeting each other when Chrissy had her baby in October, since I already had a trip planned. That is exactly what happened.

I met him face-to-face last night for the first time. I could see my dad's features in his face - different, but he IS my dad's son. I felt comfortable immediately. He is TALL - about 6'3" or more and stocky. There aren't many in my family who are taller than me, and those are only taller by a little. David is TALLER! I just LOVED that!

This goes back a long way for me. It is like a prayer I've prayed my whole life has been answered. All the warm fuzzies I am feeling, I am just going to keep for myself right now. The Lord knows my heart - inside and outside. And He knows what heals an aching soul. And nothing is impossible through Him.

Tonight he brought his mom. Ardie and Bruce drove me to The Corner Cafe in north Kansas City and we all ate dinner together. It was so fun!

So - here's the new part of my family:

Bruce and Ardie

David, me and his mom, Rita

David and his Mom

Craft Fair - Baldwin City, Kansas

2010-10-16T21:23:00.000-07:00

I spent the day with my cousin, Ardie, exploring probably the biggest craft fair I've ever seen. I naively imaged the proportions of, maybe, a city park with booths, etc. Baldwin is an out-of-the -way small town southwest of my hometown of Lenexa, Kansas. It is the home of Baker University. How big could their craft fair BE??

This big:

I walked MILES! and loved every minute of it! Ardie and I had so much fun, but I don't think it was just the craft fair. I think we would have fun doing anything AND nothing. The pace in Kansas is just different. The weather was amazing - hot, but with a constant breeze that made it so pleasant; clear, sunny skies ( I thought I was in an alien environment...), among friendly, outgoing people.

Picked up some samples of crocheted items that I think would be fun to make and marketable next year. Drooled over jewelry. Marveled over the sheer volume of talent on display.

All in all - an exceptional day!

Outstanding Sunday

2010-09-26T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today I got to substitute for our Gospel Doctrine teacher. It was the first six chapters of Isaiah and I was in "hog heaven"! I so LOVE the Old Testament! I have such a love for it. I know it comes from my childhood and the Bible stories I grew up reading and hearing. It was so much fun.

I miss teaching and the structure it gave me for my scripture study. I miss the discovery and research. I learned so much more than I ever taught. I was afraid that my study would evaporate when I stopped teaching and I was pretty right.

I had borrowed Believing Christ from my branch president. I was previewing it to see about sending to my son. I found that he had access to that book already, but I enjoyed reading it on my own. I thought I had a testimony of the Atonement before, but the book opened so many things. The more I study the Atonement, the bigger it becomes. And the more humble I become.

I returned it to him and we talked about what we liked about the book. As I was leaving, he smiled and said "You looked real natural up there teaching this morning." I said, "I LOVE teaching...." I could think of nothing I'd love better than getting to do Gospel Doctrine again. Wish, wish, wish.

Crochet is a Sickness

2010-09-24T23:49:00.000-07:00

I have crocheting more this year than ever before. Part of it came from being a partner in a "yarn goods" booth at the local farmer's market. I always wondered if there was a market for the things I made and this year taught me a lot. I shared the booth with a friend who knits and sews and we had a fairly good selection of things to offer. I learned marketing. I learned pricing. And I learned that I could not support myself that way if things ever got bad!! I COULD however make enough to cover my expenses when shopping at said market for the products of other vendors!! Especially the bread lady! YUM!

Now a certain discomfort sets in when I do not have access to needle and yarn. It's scary. I take a bag in the car with me, just in case. I mean, you don't know when you are going to stuck in traffic for hours...and what would I do with all those empty minutes and empty hands??

I have found a pattern that I am obsessed with at the moment. It is a scalloped hooded infant sweater. It can be varied many ways. This was my first attempt. I used a baby sports weight and a size H needle. Now, I crochet very tightly and it ended up tiny. Good for a preemie - or for the naked baby doll that my youngest granddaughter has been carrying around since the birth of her baby brother. Now the baby doll is no longer naked.

Then I made this one. The gray yarn is Red Heart's Homespun and very soft. I used an over-sized the hook to make it even softer.

Then I tried it without the hood. Again worsted weight. This time was Vanna's Choice yarn, which is also very soft.

And this is my newest experiment. I left the sleeves short, lengthened the "skirt" and closed up the front (which you can't see). So it is more like a little dress. With a hood. And pom-pom. Don't ask me why. I told you it was an illness... Maybe Yoda is looking for a new outfit....

Best Pastrami Ever!

2010-09-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

Tom has a love affair with the Food Network. I accept it. From Bobby Flay to the Iron Chef. Mario Batali to Guy Fieri.

He loves watching Triple D ("Diners, Drive-ins and Dives") and then trying the places we come in contact with. So far it has been a fun experience and we've enjoyed some great food in places we would never have tried otherwise.

We had another adventure this last week. We had to make a trip up to Portland, in the extended effort to get Tom registered for VA health benefits. We decided to visit a family owned sausage factory in Portland that had been featured on Triple D.

https://www.ottossausage.com/store

There on the corner of Woodstock was a store, with a barbecue cooking away. The line of people waiting went down the block. There were picnic tables along the sidewalk. You COULD eat inside, but enjoying the rare sunshine in Portland, we took the outside option. The dogs were good - freshly grilled and hot. We bought some samples for Ericka and got some of their homemade pastrami to take home.

We made hot pastrami sandwiches for lunch today out of their pastrami. Holy Cow! I love pastrami -but have never had one better than this! Next trip to Portland will definitely include a stop at Otto's!!

Recipes Galore!

2010-09-23T16:25:00.000-07:00

We have a spot in out little post office where people drop off books, magazines, and catologs that they don't want and others may claim them. A couple days ago, I went in to get our mail and found a treasure. Someone had left about four years of "Quick Cooking" and "Taste of Home" magazines there, packaged in zip lock bags.

These magazines have a history in our family. Ericka's mother-in-shared them with her when she was first married. She told me about them and I enjoyed them. I ended up gifting them to my daughters for Christmas. I immediately claimed them. Ericka used a method of noting which recipes she liked in each issue. She placed a post-it on the cover and wrote the recipe name and page on the post-it. That way she didn't have to shuffle through each magazine to find her favorites.

Whoever left these magazines did the same thing!!

I'm thinking I will sort though and collect and share. I might end up with a nice recipe book for a gift some future Christmas.

2010-05-30T23:32:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am climbing out of the hole I fell into. Our family has been on shaky ground for the last six months. I, personally, fell into a crevasse about a month or so ago. It felt like one of those "drop off the end of the earth" situations. I didn't know if I was going to get out or not.
I started seeing a counselor and was given some new "tools" that helped me sort and handle things better.

I have no embarrassment about going to a therapist. I take my car to be tuned and adjusted. I see a physician to address my body's areas of malfunction. I have gone to a massage therapist to work out knotted muscles...a chiropractor to adjust misalignment's...etc. Our mental and emotional health is just as important.

The guy I started seeing is amazing and always make me laugh. We were talking about all the issues that have come up in the last six months - which boggled even my mind. And he asked me what course of action was recommended in "the handbook." I was confused. I thought maybe he was talking about the Bible... And he explained.

"When each human being reaches the age of about 7 or eight, they are issued a hand book." I'm thinking...eight...baptism.....book of Mormon? He goes on. "it's about 1800 hundred pages of instructions regarding the issues we would encounter during our life. It's called the "How to be Human Instruction Manual! Did you loose your copy???"

He smilingly chided me about being so careless. HE still had his! We played around with that idea for quite a while and had a lot of laughs. He said that if I had KEPT mine, and read it, that it clearly states (on page 738) which types of people we should marry. That would have been so helpful the first time around..... Of course, there is NO instruction book.

But the books I thought of - the Bible, the Book of Mormon, all our scriptures are there for our guidance. A direct guideline. Why is it that I forget that so easily? And why is it that as soon as I turn to it again, I get immediate guidance, comfort and strength? Heavenly Father never once has withheld his support.

I have found that I treat myself worse than I would a stranger in a similar situation. We role-played some situations of how I would react if i saw a little girl stepping out into oncoming traffic as I was driving along. I would stop and try to get her out of the street. I would try to warn the cars and protect her. UNLESS that little girl was me. In that case I would yell at her for being in the street in the first place! I'd jerk her back on the curb. She SHOULD know better than to go into traffic.

But HOW could she know? She lost her copy of the "Instruction Manual"!! I could go on for hours about the damage the woulds, shoulds, coulds, oughts and musts can bring into our lives. And WE are the ones inflicting them - ON OUR SELVES!! People! Stop it!

If I were the one answering my plea for help in a time of emergency, my response might be something like this:

"OOOOOOHH! NOW you want an answer, huh??
What about all those little promptings I gave you? 'Hey - why not read a little before going to work?' 'You ought to take your scriptures with you...' 'What was that scripture in Alma?'

Did you pay attention to Me then??? No-o-o-o. Little miss "I'm-doing-fine-all-by-myself"!

You think I'm going to drop all the important details OF THE UNIVERSE I have to look after - just to help you - right now because you finally decided to come to Me ??

Luckily, I AM NOT on the receiving end of my prayers and pleas. My Heavenly Father is and His answer is ALWAYS:

"Yes, my beloved daughter, I WILL help. I love you more than you can ever imagine....."

Waldport - New Presidency

2010-05-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

We had branch conference last Sunday and as expected our current branch president was released. He had been in for almost six years! He's had some health issues, We have limited active priesthood available for leadership positions, since we are such a small group. I was thrilled with the stake's decision for our new president. They drafted someone from Newport Ward!! I'm so excited. I have great feelings about this presidency!

Feng Shui and Emotional Constipation

2010-05-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

"The reason most people avoid clearing the clutter is not because it takes effort and it can be time consuming. The real reason is the fact that clutter clearing is a very emotional process that feels like therapy, and it takes emotional stamina to go through it. The good news, though, is that once you clear most of your clutter ... you will start experiencing high energy levels, more clarity, and a heightened sense of well-being..."

And:

"For every piece of clutter that has piled up because we've been too busy or too distracted to deal with it, there's probably at least one piece that you have avoided dealing with for emotional reasons. The underlying problem is not procrastination, it's that dealing with clutter means dealing with our own difficult emotions:

1. Getting rid of clothes we'll never fit into again means accepting our current shape and level (or lack) of fitness.

2. Getting rid of an expensive item we never use means admitting that we made a poor decision when we bought it.

3. Getting rid of books and magazines we don't have time to read means accepting that we will never have enough time or attention to explore every topic that's of interest to us.

4. Getting rid of possessions remaining after a loved one has died means coming to terms with our loss and grief.

Acknowledge to yourself that clearing out your clutter will involve some emotional risk. Start by exploring why keeping certain kinds of clutter feels comforting to you."

BOY! That has been where I have been for at least a month. Dealing with getting rid of my mom's things has been overwhelming. I had someone tell me that maybe I just wasn't READY to let go.

BLING!! Light bulb moment!

I THOUGHT I was. I decided to prove to myself I was ready. Monday I filled the van with paintings, pictures, and boxes, planning to take them to the consignment place. But once loaded, I was too tired ... it was too late...yada-yada. (Easy to see the pattern NOW...)

The next day it rained and was really windy and I didn't want to deal with unloading everything in THAT kind of weather...(interesting, huh?)

Which brought me to yesterday. I had the car full and was irritated with myself for it still being in the car and not delivered. The weather was good and I had no excuses. It STILL took me most of the morning to get bathed, dressed and out the door. (And the funny thing was that I was oblivious to all this....)

At the Antique Mall, a lady came and helped me unload. And here is where it gets weird - ok? As I UNLOADED stuff, I started feeling "lighter." Weird, huh? I started getting happy. Now that's something I haven't felt for a while. I got all those abstract paintings out and felt really good about it - for about a minute.

Then - BAM! The guilt hits me. I was feeling really good about getting rid of something that meant so much to my parents. Now - that has to be wrong, right? What kind of a kid would be happy about getting rid of the things that were part of her parents lives? They spent years accumulating just the right things - and I was getting rid of them.

It is a weird world I live in right now. I had NO idea I felt that way, until - I felt that way. I decided to go with the "Woo-Hoo" feeling I had first. It goes back to my philosophy of things.

Things are just things.

Their treasures were treasures to THEM. My treasures won't mean any more to my kids when I am gone then my parents belongings mean to me. The only reasons I can think of for "things" to become valuable are:

1. the Quality of the craftsmanship

2. Memories attached to it

3. the Value of the components

Memories are only motivating if they are YOUR memories. So much of what I am dealing with, materially here, truly has no value for me. I can't hold on to everything I ever saw my mom use.

What I THINK I want is a connection to the past my mom and I shared. Things aren't going to give me that. My mom can't give me that. There is no amount of money that could be received from the sell of these things that will replace what Alzheimer's has stolen from me.

There is NOTHING redeeming about Alzheimer's. No part of it is fun. It's just a big, gaping black hole that eats up everything.

Clutter doesn't just consist of material items. I've got a lot of emotional things foing on, too. I'm working my way through it.

Dog Days

2010-05-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

With Tom on a visit to see his family in CA, I have been left to care of our two "puppies." He and I have laughed about how taking care of the puppies has reminded us of raising our kids. Well, I have learned that as a "single parent," this week - I haven't been able to keep track of both dog's activities.

Toby is sweet and easy going. He loves attention and wants to be with you. He has the sweetest temperament. Shelby is evil. She's cute and adorable - and as crafty as a fox. They are Shih-tzu-Poodle blends and we refer to them as Shih-Poo's. this week Shelby is just being called a little "Shih."

I haven't been cooking much, since he has been gone, but one night I decided to heat up some Foster Farms grilled breast strips and have some vegetables. I set up my meal in the living room on a TV tray and put in a DVD. (Dinner and a movie is something we do occasionally) I can't remember why, but I went back to the bedroom for a moment. I moved the TV tray away from the chair and left the TV on.

Toby, dutifully, followed me in and sat at my feet. Shelby didn't come. Hmmm. She doesn't like to be alone and ALWAYS follows Toby. Hmmmm. I called her and she didn't come. I got a real bad feeling and went to check on her. I figured she was using my absence to potty somewhere she shouldn't. Wrong. There, poised ever so carefully, was Shelby. Hind legs on the arm of my recliner, front legs on the TV tray - eating my chicken! I'm telling you, a cat has nothing on this little dog!

She saw me and knew her goose was cooked. she immediately jumped down, dropped her head and wagged her tail. I think it was the tail wag that made me so mad. It was like she was trying to look mortified at her actions, but her tail betrayed how REALLY happy she was that she found that chicken. She got a time-out in her crate, IN her playpen! Mama was NOT happy. There was no more chicken.

Random Thoughts

2010-05-01T19:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't been keeping this blog current. I have many things on my mind, but have been keeping my thoughts private. That isn't really working out too well for me. I need to process them and for me that involves writing.

So - here I go again.

Since last fall, there have been a series of developments that have been basically awful. Not everything. But there have been "significant events" that, if delivered one at a time, would have been difficult to deal with. But no - they came pancaking down and I struggled. I guess I went to survival mode and withdrew.

I was given a really good analogy. There's a saying that goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonaid." And I think that is what I initially did. But it kept going on and on. My sweet daughter-in-law was feeling the same. She posted on facebook "I'm tired of making lemonaid..." I laughed AND cried. I knew exactly what she was saying.

So - there we are. Lemons get delivered - we start cutting them up and trying to make lemonaid. And they keep coming. Boxes of them. And then they start bring in limes. We say - "Wait, I'm still working on the lemons..." And they drop them off any way.

We are running out of buckets to put the lemons in, when the next delivery arrives - of grapefruits! "Ah - could you hold off just a minutes - we are still working on the lemons - and the limes are waiting..." Crash! The crate of grapefruits hits the floor. Before the dust has settled, the next truck is backing in with the barrels of sauerkraut!

I"M NOT KIDDING!

How can you cope with ONE thing, when the calamities just keep piling up??

Leg of Lamb for the Slow Cooker / Crock Pot - 218860 - Recipezaar

2010-01-15T13:05:00.000-08:00

Leg of Lamb for the Slow Cooker / Crock Pot - 218860 - Recipezaar

January - new beginnings

2010-01-15T12:41:00.000-08:00

Mom and Tom have left for their hair cut appointments and it's just the puppies and me on our own. Wind is steadily blowing the rain against the windows in sheets. With 35 mph winds, it is a horizontal rain day.

I've been through a tough few months and I tend to cocoon myself when this happens. Finally feel like I stick my head out and reevaluate the geography. Mom has been very ill and it was hard on us all. She health is in such precarious balance that if we loose one footing, everything else just spirals down. It was a learning experience and, I think, a preparatory one. I needed to know how fragile her health actually was. And where my limits in being the solo caregiver are, as well.

A couple weeks ago, a friend who raises sheep had a marauder (bear or cougar) come through his flocks and kill a few animals. In addition to the ones he ate, he scared five yearling lambs into the canal, where they got hypothermia. By the time he found them, it was too late to warm most of them and save them. They died as he was trying to get them warm. So, he and to butcher, rather than see them go to waste. He knew I LOVE lamb and called me to see if I could use some meat.

Tom and I drove out to Toledo and he already had help with the skinning. I helped him while he cleaned them and then packed them into our van and took them to the butcher. It takes a while to prepare the carcase before they cut and wrap, so we didn't get our meat until yesterday. We ended up with about 75 pounds of cut and wrapped meat from the two lambs!

Most people think of lambs like this:

I think of them like this:

I am cooking one of the legs of lamb tonight! I'm trying a crock pot recipe I found. It follows this post. Tom is looking for the peanut butter and jelly.

Shot From the Blue

2009-09-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

What turned Tom from this happy-go-lucky guy...

Into this poor sick guy??

(Still happy, and good spirited - even with a tube in his nose, and IV's in his arms - ) The answer is Streptococcus pneumoniae - pnuemonia.

Wow - Where Did Summer Go???

2009-09-07T05:00:00.001-07:00

We had a "rain event." DANG! I should have sold tickets! Actually, I have missed the rain. know I will loath that statement in a few months, but I am glad to have it freshness it brings. Sure wish California could get some to help with those wildfires. They are going to have their hands full until Thanksgiving. That is the usual pattern. I remember going camping over Thanksgiving weekend and hearing about the wildfires that were FINALLY getting under control because the rains had started. (Our prayers are with you.)

I've been in an odd place (besides the obvious Oregon) for the last few months. More mental than actual physical places. Fought a lot of internal battles. Seem to have won some high ground for the moment and have the desire to blog again.

What an odd phase - "the desire to blog" - what IS that in us??? Why am I sitting up at 5 am typing my thoughts into a computer screen??? What IS the "desire to blog"??? and WHY am I doing it?? I do it for myself first and my kids second. Some of whom never even check it out. So since I am doing first for myself - I come back to "WHY"?

All I have right now is - "WHY not?" I'll have to think about that..... I'll do that as I type.

Summer Flower Update

2009-07-24T11:19:00.001-07:00

I found this rail-mounted basket at WalMart. I like it because it hangs from adjustable clamps that attach to the rail rather than being mounted on top of it. It has been the best color spot I created this summer. Tom and I liked it so well, we went back and bought enough to put one between each of the posts for next year. The petunias have just avalanched over the rail and down the front!

This view shows our little "apartment" windows -

This shot is looking north towards the driveway -

I just love how they turned out! I visit them every morning! Next year the whole deck rail will be decorated! I was telling Tom we should plant red, white and deep purple/blue next year - then when the 4th of July came, we'd already be color appropriate!

Painting Finished

2009-07-24T10:59:00.001-07:00

Our "guest room" is in the back of the house and faces the hillside. It never gets direct sunlight.

It has always been the off-white color from when it was built, twenty some years ago. I wanted color in there. Tom and I chose blue and green - bolder rather than pastel. I was trying to use the existing bedspread for my colors. We had the brown carpet and yellow furniture to factor in.

I wasn't sure I liked it until we completely done. I kept looking at that green and hoping it would tone down a little. I didn't like how much yellow had been in the room before, but I think the yellow goes much better now. We were considering getting rid of the chair, but we are going to keep it.

The room is much less crowded with the extra bookcase out. It's amazing how big that room really is! This shot is looking out towards the living room.

I like the blue, green, yellow and brown together.

My problem now is trying to fit what came out back into the room. I am only going to use those that coordinate with the colors. That means a lot of stuff is going to stay in boxes! I really like the way the globe goes with the rooms colors!

LDS Living

2009-07-14T06:57:00.001-07:00

LDS Living

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Nail-Biting Time

2009-07-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

The unthinkable has happened. We bought an external hard drive to save-guard our digital photos, genealogy records, and all my church related lessons. If our computer crashed, I didn't want to worry about loosing them.

So they were backed and transferred to the new hard drive. (Please learn from my mistakes). Well, the new hard drive crashed. It's only a few month old. My data is all lost in digital hell. I have SINCE been told that I should have used the hard drive as a "back up"....having the data on BOTH hard drives. Which bothers me little linear mind. ("Why would I put data on BOTH when I am trying to free up disk space on my PC so it will run better?? Wasn't THAT the point of buying an external hard drive? I could have back-up data on DVD's....)

The questions go on and on. I'm sure they are probably laughable to anyone even slightly nerdier than I am. But, here I am waiting for a phone call from my "go-to" person to see if he can reclaim the data without going to a "data recovery" company. (Oh, please, please, please....)

My little hard drive is under warranty for the next two years. They will be perfectly happy to exchange mine for a new one - minus the current data stored within mine. THAT is NOT covered under the warranty. They refer you to someone who is willing to help recover the data for a mere $700-$1500. I'm NOT kidding.

How important is the years of family history and research I have done? How much do I want the digital pictures I have taken for the past seven years? Do I really need the gospel doctrine handouts, lesson outlines, YW stories, activities, craft patterns, favorite talks, etc? I wouldn't have bought the hard drive if I hadn't been concerned about their preservation.

Come on, Cory, work your electronic, digital magic....

Fourth of July - Red, White and Blues.

2009-07-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

On the Oregon coast, we get foggy weather when it is hot in the inland valleys. It pulls the fog banks in. It is cold, windy and dreary. I have a friend who said, "When the sun is out on the coast - EVERY one is happy." So true! It DOES make the fireworks amazing, though. The fireworks light up the fog and make the display a little misty and luminous. And then all THAT is reflected back from the waters of the bay. VERY cool ...and cold. My joke used to be that the coldest day I ever spent was a 4th of July in Waldport. Also, so true.
We made a trip in to Toledo Thursday - to do some early birthday shopping. (Matt's birthday is the 17th) And driving up Hwy 20 we were faced with car after car after car coming out to the beach for the long weekend. Tourists are needed and welcome - by the small businesses. Not by those trying to go somewhere to get something done. We decided to go back home the long, non-highway route and had a lovely drive.

Today we forgot our discovery of yesterday - tourists - and wanted to get out of the house for a while. We headed towards Newport and got as far as South Beach before coming to a standstill. We growled at ourselves, did a turnabout, and raced back home.

BUT - in Seal Rock, there was the neatest little man selling bird houses and bird feeders that he makes. I bought a couple - reasonable and SO well made (pictures to follow in another post). We enjoyed our visit with him more than anything. I am going to give him the seasoned planks from the wheelchair ramp that are still usable. He is going to give me a couple free birdhouses for the trade. Barter! Gotta love it. I'm happy the boards will go to a craftsman and happy to get more birdhouse. I was planning on making a few. They would NOT have been as nice as what I am going to be getting!

Nice things have been happening. Don't know why I've been fighting depression all day. I know I cycle moods. I have moments of "okay-ness." Even bright sunburst moments. But I keep sliding down this slippery slope of...I don't know what. It is what the majority of my past couple of days have been made of. It doesn't mire me down - but it's just always "there."

What it reminds me of is hiking along a river, when I was on BYU Survival. A river doesn't run straight; it meanders. It forms sand bars. then the river speed picks up - it carries the sand and particles along with it's flow. There is a formula that allows you compute the load water can carry based on it's velocity.

(Anything that that can be computed is science. Science is based on eternal principles. I have learned that sometimes physical laws have spiritual significance. So - I think there is an eternal principle I haven't "gotten" yet. I have the physical model - the walk along the Dirty Devil River in southern Utah. I keep having this memory come back up in my life. Over and over. It was a VERY difficult day for me. VERY. To that point in my life, it was the worst day I ever walked through. There were many lessons. I'm still working on this one.)

So - when water velocity decreases, the "load" it is carrying starts falling out of the current. Larger pieces first, depositing into what becomes a sand bar. When you walk a river canyon, you don't walk the way the water flows. We plot a straight path through, usually, because it is shorter and more direct. Plotting that path takes you up and down these sand bars. You cross the river - walk across the sand bar, go into and out of the water again, walk across another sand bar - and so on and so on. My legs got so-o-o sore that day.

Did I mention that sand bars are made of sand?? Loose sand. Not the packed kind down the ocean where the waves come in and out. The loose kind you have to walk across to GET to where it;s nice and wet and packed and easy to walk on. And your boots are wet because you just came out of the water - hello! So the sand sticks to your boots, AND your pant legs, and socks.... getting the picture? Nasty!

After about the fourth or fifth crossing, the boots aren't keeping the water out of themselves anymore. Your boots starts "taking on"water, making them heavier. Your socks are soaked. You can feel the water sloshing around inside a place it was never meant to be. I repeat - NASTY!

I looked ahead, down the canyon. All I could see was MORE canyon. Another bend just ahead. I couldn't see the end - only the next bend. The walls of the canyon towered over our heads. I was only aware of the passing of time - and I was still stuck in something that gave me no concept of if or when I would ever get out. (Did I know it WOULD end at some point - of course. But I couldn't conceptualize it. I FELT despair. I wanted to quit. (like THAT would solve my problem!! I'd STILL be sitting in that freakin' canyon with wet feet, a tired, sore body and a lousy attitude)

Not only was I miserable - in every way possible - but that wasn't enough. I resented everyone else for...you know, I don't know why I resented them. I was having a pity party and no one cared. No one came. I isolated myself when I needed. I think I do that a lot. And I think it comes under the sin of Pride. I made myself unpleasant to be around. Negative. Not only was the glass half empty - I was pretty ticked off at the type of glass it WAS IN!

I was a joy to be around. NOT! And only one (physical) person WAS willing to be with me. (I KNOW I had angels...) And that is another story.

But what relates to my situation now is the walking a straight line down a meandering canyon. The sandbars discouraged me. Some were quite large. Some were covered with thickets that you had to walk through without getting hit in the face by the branches. Some were short. Straight up and right back down. But I feel THAT the same way about my daily situation here as I did back then.

I remember looking down that canyon and just DREADING the next crossing. And some mornings I feel the same way about going downstairs. I can't see the end of the canyon. I FEEL like if I KNEW what day this would be over, I could manage. But - it's NOT going to be over...and I'm having a hard time ...

I think it's time to go back on anti-depressive medication. Life isn't getting LESS depressing....

Under Construction

2009-07-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

Samara sent me some beads - and what I love about having someone else pick out beads is that is expands my imagination. I would never have had the nerve to buy one of the pendants - but she sent me two. This darker one...

( And this is what I came up with for the earrings - to go with it...)

This is my favorite - I think it must be a fire agate. I found some smaller beads that went so well with it...

And these are the earring I made:

These were the result of components I cannibalized from some other projects -

These also - they are a deep teal with silver. I need to work on how I can represent them by pictures better....

I tried some bracelets with the natural beads I have had for a while. I got them in a "grab-bag" purchase at Salvation Army. Has to be a way to use them...

I used the "tube-type" in the "right angle" stitch and actually like the result. Mixing them with round beads wasn't too bad!

So - Samara - there is your preview into your next package. I think you will like what I found to go with your beads.

Earrings, Earrings

2009-06-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

I have tried a few new things in my beading. Feel a little more confident in my choices and colors, so haven't posted much about them. I've started making earrings - as both Chrissy and Samara both asked me to. They like earrings. I never wear them, so had no internal gauge of what looked good. This don't. But the girls have liked what I've sent them so far. So - here's the latest:

this one reminds me of my bead people!

This shot doesn't show the true color of the hanging bead.

So I tried to get it in the sunlight. it is kind of like a tiger's eyes gem stone. It isn't as dark as it looks in the first shot. The lower beads are a faceted, dark amber and has some silver on them. Cool.

This one if my favorite. I think it looks rather Victorian/romantic. Again, the lighting was dark - so I tried again.

This color is more accurate, but I couldn't get it hanging - which I think is a better shot.

And these are "Chrissy" earrings - she loves dragonflies. I'm looking for a good turtle bead for Samara. Maybe an angel earring? the shop in Nye Beach DOES have angel wings like the dragonfly ones.

Maybe take the one that reminds me of the "bead people" and add the silver wings? Tom wanted to share the picture that he got from Samara for Father's Day. She had gone to New York and got to walk right by the Dakota, where John Lennon lived with Yoko and Sean. It was where he was killed. She found a vendor selling this:

Anyone who knows Tom knows he loves John Lennon. She had quite an adventure actually getting the picture home to mail to him. (It took two trips....ask her sometime.)

Lennon has been the subject of several gifts between tom and Samara. She made a charcoal/?pencil? drawing of him for Christmas one year, which he loved. And another gift was the word "Imagine" written in large stencil form. Within each letter, she wrote the lyrics of the song in small script.

He mentioned that he wished he could go there sometime - see the Dakota and Strawberry Fields area of Central Park. So - now we are planning to go to see Matt & Samara in Philly at the end of August - and do some sightseeing of our own!

Got Flowers!!

2009-06-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

In honor of "Wife's Day," Tom got me flowers! I told him there wasn't any wife's day and he said there should be - lol! So, I said there wasn't any "husband's day," and he shared that EVERY day is Husband's Day!!

What I loved is that the florist tried to sell him roses. I don't really like roses and Tom actually knew that! He told her was more a "daisies and wild flowers person!" How cool is that! I feel LOVED!

Summer Solstice

2009-06-21T22:57:00.001-07:00

Today was the longest day of the year.

I have a different reaction to this than most people. Know what this means to me???

THE DARK IS COMING!!

I live for March 21st (the Spring Equinox), when the day start getting longer! I rejoice in the months between March and June!! I treasure and obsess over the days between June and September as the days dwindle down to the equal length of daylight and darkness. The Fall Equinox brings out my depression big time.

The Pacific Northwest has very diminished sun exposure in the fall and winter. It has grown to be an issue for me. I start dreading the darkness from this time of year. Crazy I know. But true. I don't mind the rain as much as I mind the darkness. Have to plan ahead to have coping skills in place.

From our position on the coast, we can actually track the movement of the sun from June until December. This time of year - the sun sets to the north of us. It will start moving south again until September, when it will be directly west of us. In December it will be setting to the south of us. Interesting to watch.

Maybe I will have to build my OWN version of Stonehenge! Have landmarks to mark it's progress across the yard!! Druids! where are you???

Summer Flowers!!

2009-06-21T22:30:00.001-07:00

Gardening has become very important to me. I love my flowers! I think it is the opposite of what is occurring IN the house. I love watching them grow - day by day. Expand and blossom. It's just the best thing. It's something I can contribute to, something I can help.

Tom told me about this planter on one his trips to Wal-Mart. next time I went, I found one and bought it. I think I actually over-filled it - almost too many plants.... A cup of color and fragrance...

I attached a hanger I found in the garage to the deck rail. Turns out to be a good placement. The railing helps block the wind a little.

Found this at Wal-Mart too. I didn't want to place a box ON the rail, but the basket hangs over and the attaching hooks can be tightened to clasp tightly onto the rail. I bought some spreading petunias, and I think they will creep all over the rail and down the front of the basket before they are done! Next year I will get at least three more!

I am a big petunia fan! Simple little flowers - but I love how they spread and how fragrant they are! It's cool enough here that they will last until frost.

Another petunia pot - just another color. These are white - with a pink blush in the center. So pretty! You can see the dead bulbs in the pots on the deck. I have since dug them up and gotten they ready for another planting when October comes around. I'm hoping it will into a dedicated bulb bed by then.

This is the view from the second floor.

I've never gotten to plan the landscaping anywhere before. I'm looking forward to seeing the front yard look pretty again, like it did when my dad was alive. Having a home I am proud of is an old issue with me. I want it to feel like a home.

Front Yard changes

2009-06-21T21:55:00.000-07:00

I took this picture back in April before we starting making changes. You can see the wheelchair ramp coming out from around the back of the house. We found it had dry rot and needed to be removed.

Our house faces west. There is a small grove of coastal pines between us and the road. We had the dead limbs trimmed up and tops trimmed last year, so they look very manicured now. I'm trying to create a little "glade" under there. Raking the pine needles is a never ending task!

There are overgrown flower beds on the north side of the driveway. My folks planted juniper in there - and it just took over. I HATE ground juniper. It killed the heather and everything else. It is like the cancer of ground cover! We took a chain saw and attacked the lower flower bed last summer. The top one is still a mess.

During May I started buying plants and planting. I have made several "color bowls" to put up on the deck by the kitchen window. That is where Mom spends most of her day and it gives her something to enjoy. This is what I did to the south side of the driveway. After I raked the needles enough - I discovered another flower bed! Who knew???

The second morning after planting them, I went out to water them and found THREE ground squirrel burrows had been dug right up in the middle of the plants. They had snacked on the petunias. Guess they thought I had created a buffet bar for them! Luckily - the petunia's weren't to their taste. They haven't eaten them all yet. Never touched the begonias...

We hired a couple to work on the yard when they have time. They have removed the wheelchair ramp and done a great job. They removed all the nails and stacked the still usable lumber on the side of the house. Now we have the material to do some shelves in the garage and to build a wood rack outside.

I wish my able-bodied sons-in-law lived closer and could help me with the yard. I really hope that I CAN get it finished this summer. I plan on building a tiered flower bed and using that for my bulbs this fall.

So many projects...sigh. Wish I was twenty years younger.

Roadhouse 101 - Lincoln City

2009-06-21T21:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day, Tom!

I gave him his choice of eating out anywhere he wanted - like he did for me on Mother's Day. He picked a place in Lincoln City we have been talking about going to for quite a while...Roadhouse 101. It's a casual, fun place with road department accessories on the walls. Peanuts in buckets on the tables ...

Tom appreciated their choice in containers!

The shells went on the floor when you were done with them.

I picked spareribs - St. Louis style.

Tom chose a 16 oz. rib eye - is anyone surprised????

Mom enjoyed the outing and tried their fish and chips and enjoyed them. She refused my offer of a photo of her plate!! Poor Mom - what she puts up with!

Happy Father's Day all!

Heavenly Father - I love thee!

Anniversary - Woo-Hoo...

2009-06-19T20:58:00.001-07:00

We have been living with my mom for a year now. Hard to believe....seems longer AND shorter. Don't know quite what to say about it. I STILL have very mixed feelings about being here.

Tom and I have talked and talked about this. We both think that if I had developed a "normal" mother-daughter relationship with her BEFORE her affliction, things would be different now. (Whatever a NORMAL mother-daughter relationship might be....) I can continually having to confront and deal with old issues. I truly believe that the Lord's hand is in this. Refining fire isn't a pleasant thing while you are in the crucible. These are issues I NEED to deal with. Charity is something I need to practice. Is it fun? NO! Do I feel supported through it all? ABSOLUTELY.

We have found routines that have built Tom's and my relationship and appreciation of each other. We treasure and enjoy our couple outings and times together. I have found great joy in working in the front yard, re-landscaping. I LOVE my flowers and working up a sweat in the yard.

I am totally addicted to beading. Love visiting bead shops, looking for patterns and projects on-line. I have been creating earring, necklaces, bracelets and odds & ends for my girls and grand girls. Sorry Preston, Cayden, and Briggs. But you will have your turn....

I plan on trying woodworking next. Want to make bird houses to hang in the small group of coastal pines that we have between the house and the street. (I found a woodworking craftsman who will cut patterns for me. He will make me some small boats for grand kids to decorate, if I ever have visitors again....)

Glenn Beck: The Letter

2009-06-17T14:41:00.001-07:00

I heard this letter read on his show and was overwhelmed with the wisdom and truth in it. I wished I was a deep enough thinker to have have come up with it. It was like she wrote all the things I have been thinking - and did it eloquently.

You HAVE to read it -

Glenn Beck - Current Events & Politics - Glenn Beck: The Letter

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I love watching his show. This is one thing I found before Tom. I asked him if we could watch it - and he started putting it on for me and then would go to the computer. Before long, there he was watching WITH me. Before much longer, he was taking credit for having found Glenn. I'm SO glad he did. A voice of reason and truth in a time of "secret combinations."

I've Been Hiding

2009-05-03T22:57:00.000-07:00

I have been going through some stuff. Mostly internal. I have felt overwhelmed. Several friends have gone through, or are still going through, TOUGH times. Times are hard. Lots of folks are struggling harder than usual. Life is a big stress sandwich right now. I have a handle on what "triggered" my own personal recession. It comes back to my attitude and my relationship with the Lord, as usual. Working on it.

Does anyone else have fears about where our country is headed? I see things happening that when I put them together with other things that are happening - it makes a very scary scenario. And no one is talking about it. The media has their own scenarios - but no one puts together the same things I'm looking at.

Like us borrowing money from the Chinese. Since when was it a GOOD idea to borrow of money from our ENEMIES?? What are they going to take when we can't repay the billions we've borrowed? Which pieces of real estate are they going to what as collateral? How many states?

And opening relations with Castro and his brother. I lived through the Cuban missile crisis. I was in middle school. I went to bed at night, listening for missiles flying overhead. We had nuclear drills at school, where we dropped and covered - like that would protect us from the nuclear blast. Who thinks opening relations with them is a good idea??

Who are THEIR friends? Well, Hugo Chavez supplies their oil at a huge discount. Castro is Chavez's hero. Who does Chavez have on his friend list? North Korea. All the folks in the Middle East that want to see us buried. And WHY would these folks be interested in a little Caribbean island dictator? Certainly not for his vast wealth! Could it not be for the location of his island?? To give them a closer launching platform for all the good will they have for us? That was Kruchev wanted. Do we not learn from the past?

I'm watching my mom's funds evaporate at a time when we need them to provide nursing care for her as she declines. Who knows what to do? I don't. The only secure thing is that the house is paid for.

I just wonder what others are thinking, feeling. So - I'm sticking my nose out a little and writing.

Invasion of the Bead People!

2009-04-11T22:13:00.001-07:00

I love this little guy - he looks like he has his hands in his pockets!

Ah-oh....

2009-03-31T23:49:00.000-07:00

I am going to my first bead and gem show this coming weekend. I'm so excited. (No - the picture isn't real. It's my son-in-law teasing me about my new obcess - oops - hobby....)

Moara ( the lady I met when we visited Frances and Alice) gave me a beading magazine and fliers to upcoming beads shows nationally. She said the selection and bargains were amazing. There are three in Oregon this year. I missed the first one and the next one is in Hillsboro this weekend. Just what I need - MORE beads! (I can't wait!!)

Guess we're going to see the grand kiddos! Have an early Easter with them (this is their spring break week). suggested, since it is conference weekend that we make it a Grandma's Easter and the REAL one will come later!

Tom found a Spider man Easter pail for Cayden. (Isn't that just the most obscene thing ever? Celebrating the Savior's resurrection with Spidie???) Of course we bought it. Now he will get to see Cayden's reaction! We went more traditional with the girls' baskets.

Chrissy's Beads

2009-03-31T12:50:00.000-07:00

Here's what I've come up with so far with the beads Chrissy sent me. Here's your preview, Redhot!

I re-strung this one and added the barrel aqua bead to the necklace.

This is some of the greens I got in Moreno Valley.

This is the re-strung version of the necklace that started all this madness. I saw these badge lanyards at the local hospital gift shop before Christmas. I got a couple and my girls liked them. They were a little spendy to buy individually and I thought "I could make those...." Now I have 30 pounds of beads......(jk!!)

I like this better - it's not so heavy and gave me enough flower beads left over to make a pink/coral version! (not strung yet)

This is what I came up with for the frosted beads. Hope you like it, Chrissy .

Funny how the color changes depending on the background!

This is my favorite. I wouldn't have picked the beads on my own, but I ended up loving them. That's the fun of sharing and getting others advice and taste. I won't have been that daring and I love the look!

These beads are just beautiful with all the marbling in them. They are about the size of watermelon seeds and just gorgeous.

Beading is a Disease....

2009-03-31T00:03:00.000-07:00

And I am afraid I have caught it!

A month ago, I broke down and bought some more beads. This is what my supply looked like then.

This is what it looks like now:

When I started home from our trip (after finding the Super Joanne's Craft store in Moreno Valley), I could hardly fit my collection in the duffel bag I had brought for the trip. (Don't leave home with them....) Tom swears he hurt his back just lifting it into the van.

I tried something I had seen a friend wearing - combining wire work with beads. If you look, you can see the wire wrapped around the base of the threading hook. I liked the look and wanted to try it. I'm not totally happy with the colors in the necklace yet, but I really like the pendant effects.

I re-strung one of my first projects, the jade and jasper beads. I wanted it a little longer and wanted to give it the appearance of having knots between the beads. I really like how it turned out. I don't know how to do the knots yet, but the small black beads did what I hoped they would.

I made this as an experiment. I wanted a "classy" basic necklace and ended up liking the result more than I thought I would. I have gotten compliments when I wore it.

I'll post some more pictures tomorrow. Chrissy sent me some beads that she picked out and asked me to string them for her. I'm excited with her choices and what I've come up with so far.

Homecoming

2009-03-30T23:38:00.001-07:00

Given the chance for a road trip and visiting California, the only thing I was concerned about was - are you ready for this? My bulbs! I was half afraid I would miss their full blooming, after all the time I have waited. Did it keep me from going - obviously not!

BUT - I couldn't wait to see what they looked like when we drove into the driveway. And this is what I found!

I was SO happy! There are advantages to the cool weather and cloudy skies on the coast. It makes spring last longer. I will definitely do this again this fall! What a payoff! And the tulips are up, but haven't bloomed yet! Their buds are huge, though! Chrissy - spring WILL come there. Wish I could send this to you.

War Memorial

2009-03-28T09:14:00.001-07:00

When I was trying to decide between moving to Utah or Oregon, back in 1997, I made a trip during Spring break. We stopped and explored many places and took copious pictures. One place we were advised to visit by my friend, Anne, was this war memorial just north of Weed and east of Granada, CA. When we visited it, it was just a few statues in the middle of the sage and pines. I'm not even sure it was marked.

I was deeply touched by the display. I have told many people about it. When this trip became possible, it was one of THE things I wanted to visit again. I have been haunted by this sculpture. It just touched me in a profound way. It is titled "POW/MIA"

At the time, people had just left various tributes wrapped around the one post. There were metal bracelets left - the type I wore in high school. We made a commitment to wear the soldier's name until they were found or returned. It made the offerings personal to me. Now there is a large collection.

I wanted Tom to see this and it had the same impact on him that it had the first time for me. Very powerful image.

Another one I remembered was the one titled "Nurses." The women vets of Vietnam were often overlooked for their contribution. And the impact what they saw and those they served had on the rest of their lives.

This is "Coming Home." It speaks for itself.

The girls wouldn't recognize the memorial now. I didn't. It has grown and is very manicured. The new displays are just as touching. This one is titled, "Live LZ."

This one is "The Greatest Generation."

This one is a tribute to the Korean War. I have forgotten the name.

This one is "All Wounded Warriors."

This one was hard to capture. It has a different perspective from every angle. It is "The Why Group."
Another new addition to the park is that it has become a veteran's cemetery.

From the past and the present.

Sacramento National Wildlife Refuge

2009-03-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

This was always a stop-over on our trips between Victorville and Waldport. In the fall it is a link in the migratory bird flight path. Many winter here until spring. As the days get longer, they return to their summer grounds.

Spring is quite different in what is visible. All we found were the year-round residents and wild flowers. Still a great drive!

There were so many jack rabbits, we thought we were back in the desert. They are almost fearless and VERY curious!

The pheasants were almost as numerous, but much more wary.

The reserve is the combination of several reserves. It covers 35,000 acres and supplies food and rest to a full half of the migratory bird in the Pacific flight path. In the fall these lakes are covered with snow geese and other water fowl.

It is an idyllic setting with the mountains in the distance.

There were numerous hawks. This one captured our interest because of his unwillingness to leave this tree. He sat let us take pictures. He would get uncomfortable enough to take flight, only to return to the same tree. It was a great thing to watch. THEN we found the reason for his reluctance to leave. As we kept the hawk distracted, a large jack rabbit made a break for the open field! We had come between the hawk and his intended lunch! After the rabbit escaped, the hawk deserted us with a disdainful glare.

There were egrets everywhere. They are a common resident in the Sacramento area due to the numerous rice paddies, and Sacramento River wetlands.

It is an "stay in the automobile" tour and you only get to see a small section, but SO fun to drive through if you take your time. We were the only visitors there that day and could stop and watch wherever we wanted. We saw turtles sunning themselves, but couldn't get any pics. Most of the encounters were "ah ha" moments and I wasn't quick enough with the camera. We saw way more pheasants than we could get photos of and more jack rabbits than we WANTED pictures of!

The smiles on our faces weren't only from the wildlife...

We knew where we were eating lunch! Last chance In & Out Burgers in Redding, CA.

Junkyard Art

2009-03-21T23:07:00.001-07:00

Meet the Bocks

2009-03-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

Tom had several things on his wish list for this trip but tonight was the completion of one of mine. I got to visit with "Elder Bock" and his family. Aren't they cute? We had several favorite missionaries while we were in St. Helens, but Elder Bock was always MY favorite.

We kept in touch with him throughout his mission, somewhat. And this is the first time I've gotten to see him since he's come home to California. His wife, Katie, is a teacher and lucky enough to be able to work full-time AND stay home with their little girl.

And she WAS the entertainment for the evening! She is normally afraid of men with beards, but had no problem warming up to Tom and playing with him through the dinner. What a cutie! The two of them pounded on the table, shook things, played with the spoons, made faces and covered parts of their faces all evening. I wish I had videoed it.

Notice the sippy cup in front of Emma. Notice the red bottle upside down on the table at the bottom of the picture, in the middle. When Emma would shake her sippy cup, Tom grab the catsup and copy her. She LOVED it. She would go from thing to thing, waiting for Tom to copy her. It was hysterical.

They are a sweet couple and patient parents. It was fun evening. I love that the Gospel makes families like this possible. I love that we can have enduring friendships through our shared faith and principles. I love that his mother gave him up for two years so that he could bless the lives of so many people. And I love that Katie let an couple of strangers get to know her and share an evening with her family.

You guys made my trip!

Elder Bock

2009-03-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

I got in touch with "Elder Bock"!! We're taking his family out to dinner tomorrow night!

Frances and Alice

2009-03-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we made a trip to see two of my mom's best friends. They were next-door neighbors in Rowland Heights for years. They are also mother and daughter.

Frances came up two years ago and stayed with my mom for a couple months, before I stopped working. Gave us a wonderful gift of her time and love. Alice also used to be a regular house guest with my parents once they moved to Oregon. In her senior years, she worked as a camp ground attendant at Whispering Falls campground, in Lake Detroit in Oregon each summer. She would stay with my parents prior to going to the campground and sometimes after it closed before returning to California for the winter. An amazing lady.

Alice is living with her son and daughter-in-law now in Huntington Beach. She is a bright, spry 95 years old! Still a delight. She still has her sense of humor. Frances asked about one of her eyelids, which seemed a little "droopy." She joked that maybe her mom needed a botox injection. Alice quickly came back with "At my age, I think I will just let it hang!" Mothers and daughters. They don't change with age. She made me laugh over and over. So freakin' cute! i have a new role model for my old age!

I had been a little iffy about making the trip down there. It was a long drive. What with picking up Frances, going to Huntington Beach and taking Frances home - it was going to be a four-five hour round trip in driving time alone. Trying to come back from the beach in the evening is , well, a daunting task. Traffic is obscene. We had to travel on the Garden Grove freeway, which was described by Frances as never having been designed to BE a freeway. It was merely intended to be overflow parking.

I was wrong. I had a lovely time. Frances' sister-in-law was warm and friendly. Moara was gorgeous - at 63. I MEAN gorgeous. (She takes jazz dancing classes with 20-year-olds!) Her home was a work of art. Definitely NOT kid-friendly, more like a provincial French resort. So lovely and relaxing. AND she is a beader! We had the BEST time. Her creations make mine look like pop-beads! She gave a beading magazine, fliers to a bead and gem show in Portland and Eugene this summer and hundreds of ideas. The funny thing was that Frances had never known that side of her sister-in-law before! (Chrissy - she spends $70 on ONE necklace! But ends up with something worth $200! And it looks it too!)

About 4:30 pm, we were ready to leave but didn't want to spend our time in the "overflow parking" lanes of the freeway. Moara told us about a "dollar movie" theater close by and we went to see "Marley and Me." All together a great day. It was twilight as we started home and the freeways were free-flowing. We started our day about 10am and got home about 9pm.

Today? We're laying low! I have some beads ideas to try out! I'm letting Mom sleep in this morning.

Pinnacle Pete - Riverside, CA

2009-03-18T22:29:00.000-07:00

Such a nice family...Right? Don't forget they are Archers...
Yep - Archers! Tim, Cheryl and their girls.

We went to Tom's favorite steak place. Pinnacle Pete's. Home of the 30 oz. steak. If you wear a tie here, they come after you with a cow bell and scissors. They make a big ritual of cutting it off. Then they mount it on the wall with the date and the name of the wearer. And the walls are decorated with ties.

Great steaks. Fun place. Family is always the best.

Beads, Again

2009-03-18T21:43:00.001-07:00

I promised Chrissy I would post these. I made some drops. I was playing around with some larger beads and bead caps.

#1 Close-up

And the bigger picture.

#2 Close-up

And the bigger picture.

#3 Close-up

And the bigger picture:

#4 Close-Up

You know what:

And #5

Freeway Rant

2009-03-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

Okay - I give you that in Oregon I usually pull out on Highway 5 without a car in sight. It's a family joke to quote my step-dad. "Damn this congestion!" I admit I am spoiled on a daily basis a far as having to deal with traffic. The biggest traffic jam we have in the spring is when a mama duck decides to take her brood across the road to the next pond!

But - I learned to drive in California. I drove the freeways for 30 some years. I commuted from L.A. to the Pomona Valley during rush hours. I'm not a novice.

I complained to my kids about the freeways in Utah. Especially between Salt Lake and Provo. I apologise. Utah drivers have nothing on So. Calif. drivers. Holy crap! Six lanes of traffic and you get run over doing 65 in the far right lane! I mean - run off the road! I've had a CHP (California Highway Patrolman) pass me like I was standing still while I was going 70 mph - and he wasn't chasing anyone. No one slowed down.

The surface speed is one thing. I can handle driving 65-75 in a freeway situation. Straight down the road. But there are the "Ricky racers" weaving in and out of traffic, from far right to far left at super-sonic speeds! Cutting from the lane on your right, across your lane, into the lane on your left - with only inches to spare. I was afraid to roll down my window for fear one of them would try passing through THAT to get to a faster moving lane!

I used to say that no one in So. Calif. used turn signals. They consider them a sign of weakness! A REAL driver never declares his intentions ahead of time. That would give the other drivers the opportunity to cut you off. Which is exactly what happens. If there was an opening you wanted to move into - and you signal that you are moving over - I guarantee that the space will evaporate when the driver behind you sees your intention. In fact, he MAY just cut into the six inches in front of you just to show you who is boss and immediately slam on his brakes to keep from hitting the car ahead of him.

And never, never, never pull out in front of the speeding car coming up on your left - two miles down the road. For some reason it is a sin to use your brakes when your horn is still operational. No matter how much advance notice might be given.

There is this fundamental difference between Oregon drivers and Calif. drivers. It involves the use a lane that is being eliminated. The highway posts a "merge left" sign. In Oregon, at the first indication that the lane is ending, all drivers evacuate that lane. And God help you if you stay in it and try to merge at the point where it tapers down. They form an solid wall and you will wait until the line of traffic is past or until some Christian person takes pity on you.

In California, seeing a "merge left" sign is considered a free invitation to cut off as many people as possible. I have seen drivers go from the far left land to the far right lane, just for the chance to pass up the backed-up traffic. Doesn't matter if you planned on getting off there or not - a free lane is a free lane. And they use it down to the last half inch. If you try to stop them from cutting in front of you, there is the risk of getting your front bumper re-designed. It's their right! They plan to use every advantage to get ahead of you - even if it's only by two inches. He who arrives first wins.

I'm too old for this crap...

Wednesday

2009-03-18T07:54:00.000-07:00

Tom is going fishing with his brother, Tim, today. This is his outfit. He plans on intimidating the fish onto his hook.

If he catches one of these -
He will instantly transform into this!

Mom and I are driving out to Cabazon. It's got a big fresh fruit stand and a big casino. Nothing says California like reservation-based casinos. (Ooops - we have those in Oregon, too....)
Cabazon is one the #10 Freeway, heading toward Palm Springs.

No one should ever miss seeing Cabazon....It has the distinction of being the only city in Riverside County to vote away their right to BE a city. Most communities want to be incorporated. Cabazon voted to to DIS - incorporate. Must be the influence of the giant dinosaurs.

Moreno Valley - 2009

2009-03-15T15:52:00.000-07:00

Let us just say it isn't what Tom remembers.

He is off having dinner with his sisters and brothers. It's been about two years since he was last here. He came down before his mom passed away and hasn't been back. He's looking forward to fishing with Tim on Wednesday. Tim has a boat. Needless to say, Tim is his favorite brother.

We are staying at a place in Moreno Valley. Most be popular, since a car club picked it as well. There were about a dozen customized show cars in here. Not the classic early muscle cars, but the low-rider hydaulic-ized, mega-boom box variety, with novelty lighting packages. And rude owners. They were up all night playing with their cars and auto alarms. I didn't sleep much. Tom slept through everything.

Luckily the car show ended today and they all left. There is a big group of irritated guest here. I feel sorry for the poor desk clerk. She earned her money today.

There is a In&Out close by. Joanne's AND a Michaels. Maybe things are okay...

Big Six-O

2009-03-10T07:21:00.001-07:00

I'm officially into my sixth decade now. This was the first significant birthday for me in a long while. There were YEARS that went by when I actually could NOT remember how old I was unless I subtracted my birth year from the current year. Age has never been important to me. Somehow, this one was. And it was awesome.

It wasn't because of what happened, particularly. It was a quiet day. My kids are in other states. It could have been a disappointing day - but it wasn't. There was just a special spirit around all day and I had the best birthday. I went to my favorite place for dinner - Tidal Raves in Depot Bay (a good 45 minute drive away from home) with Mom and Tom. Great seafood, great view, great company, great atmosphere, fabulous sunset with no rain! Amazing!

Tom planned the dinner - being willing to take me to MY favorite place, when he hates seafood (they DO have GREAT ribeyes!). The surprize came when the check was presented. Chrissy and Matt had called from Salt Lake (knowing our plans for the evening) and arranged to pay for our dinners! Totally uncalled for, but very thoughtful and sweet.

I arrived home after dinner to find this waiting for me in the doorway:

Ericka hadn't known what time we made our reservations for dinner and so missed us by just a few minutes. It's such a pretty arrangement!

Then, my birthday card from Matt Allred. This is a tradition he introduced to the family when he married Chrissy. His mom does these great photoshopped cards and he has shared the practice with us. Tom and I seriously look forward to these creations on our birthdays and Mother's and Father's Days. He outdid himself this year! Tom and I had talked about the sheer number of candles and were glad they didn't put that many on my dessert at Tidal Raves. They would have melted my ice cream!

And he shared these images of us - I laughed until I cried!
My sweet husband - people say he has made a big impression on me.....

Others say I have made a big impression on him....

Truth is - we have influenced each other. We have grown together. We are truly becoming one... Scary....

But, in all honesty, this is how I see him every time I look at him - my hunk!

Sorry ladies - he's taken. I'm a lucky woman!

More Necklaces

2009-03-03T09:43:00.000-08:00

I'm sure I'll get tired of this soon - but I've got about a dozen necklaces so far. Tom asked me what I am going to do with them. I don't know. It's like my afghans. I just make them.

This one is more feminine. It has silver spacers, crystal and pale purple beads with a matte wine-colored square bead. I really like how it turned out. The photo doesn't show it's true color.

I tried to adjust the brightness - but it still isn't a true representation. The colors are very subtle.

I bought some fluorite beads several weeks ago and wasn't sure what I wanted to do with them. I liked the color and they are supposed to react under black light. WalMart had some findings on sale and I got these bead frames. I really like how this one turned out as well. It's a little heavy due to the fluorite.

More Necklaces

2009-03-02T17:19:00.000-08:00

I made seven more. The next three are the brown beads I showed in the bowl (in close-up). then I gave an over-all shot.

Here are the others:

First in close-up -

Then the whole thing

This one is in honor of March and aquamarine....

Projects

2009-02-28T14:15:00.001-08:00

When we moved into my Mom's house, I gave my granddaughter my collection of beads. I figured I wouldn't have the time or space to play with them. She said then, "You like beads don't you, Grandma?" Yep. I do. And I haven't given them up. Here is my current collection:

This is my most expensive project - I made it for myself. Jade and polished jasper. Jade because I like the color. Jasper because I like rocks! And it reminded me of Utah and Survival. We used jasper as our flint in making flint and steel fires. I have several pieces I collected while living in Hanksville, UT.

I love the translucent quality.

Here are my leftovers from prior necklaces. Too pretty to discard. I'll find a way to use them.

I put these together and will make my next projects of of these. I like seed beads - I grew up in the 60's, remember. Love beads. I like to mix other beads with them. I want to find some juniper berries. Another Survival memory. They called them ghost beads and they are in a lot of Native American jewelry.

Here are my latest necklaces.

I have finished two lap-size afghans as well. (It's a sickness....)

That's not all I have been up to, either. I have been working on the quiet book again. I'm creating my own pages, based on the Book of Mormon. I'll post on that later. I want to do a quiet book with a gospel focus.

Bulb Update.

2009-02-28T13:39:00.001-08:00

I got Mom an azalea for Valentine's Day. I wanted something we could keep and use for color out on the deck. It's really small but if we re-pot it I'm hoping it will be the ones we left in Tidewater. I can control the soil's pH in a pot better than I could if it were in the sand.

Nature out performed my planted bulbs - of course! These came up unexpectedly. I am going to make the spot and add to them for next spring, now that I know they WILL come up.

These are daffodils.

grape hyacinth

And the short-lived crocus - I LOVE their color!

As for my efforts in the fall, I'm so excited how they are turning out!

I planted tulips and daffodils together in this big tub.

This is my strawberry pot. I put hyacinths in the top and crocus in the little cup openings.

More daffodils and hyacinths!

The pink one is already blooming. You can see the colors on the other buds. they look like little pineapples in the center of their leaves. What I like about hyacinths is that they have a sweet fragrance.

This is one of those entries where I feel silly writing it, except that I am doing it for me. I am so "into" this project. I was soooo depressed when I planted them. It was an exercise in delayed gratification. And it has been sooo worth while. And I'm not talking about just the bulbs becoming flowers.

There are things we do that we never know why. Things that seems to have no "pay-off" as we are in the midst of doing them. The project of planting them actually WAS fun for me. (unlike some of the routine day-to-day things we have to do)

It was an amazingly beautiful day. I thought it would be a good project for my mom. She chose not to participate. It turned out it was for me after all. I had a glimpse in my mind of what was possible. I knew what I wanted for spring. I exercised faith in that goal. I'm enjoying my reward.

"MY Peace I Give Unto You..."

2009-02-28T13:09:00.000-08:00

I find that I AM "getting a life." It's not very exciting, but it is my own. After 9 months of living with my mom, we are falling into a routine, of sorts. It's different than everything from before, but I am finally starting to feel "at home" at times. Some things just take me a while to adjust to. I am finding time for myself without feeling guilty.

A big part, for me, was admitting that I needed help sorting out all the feelings and pressures of the hand I have been dealt. I went to an Alzheimer's care giver support group which gave me much info. Gave me a map of the new landscape in th world I find myself living. Helpful, but not enough in the long run. As stress started attacking MY body and I started having physical symptoms as well as emotional overload, my good doctor suggested counciling. It's not like it is someting I have never done. Heck, I've spent a good portion of my adult life talking to SOME one about one traumatic event or another in my life. (Thank God) It wasn't a big step to say yes.
Enter the light at the end of the tunnel. Talking to this woman has been the best part of my life the last three months. She helps me see what I am dealing with in this bazarre relationship I have with my mom. She helps me define what is mine and what deserves to be left in the responsibility of others. This spring seems particularly significant for me. A re-birth. The fear just isn't there - which seems strange considering the events and economic conditions that surround us. I am peaceful.

John 14:27 - 27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

I'm there.

It's quite unusual for me to feel this way, but here I am. And I count it to the Lord. I'm doing what I need to be doing. It's even okay that there are days when I rail and complain. It's part of the process. I have a lot of grief. This is my path.

Psycho Says Hi

2009-02-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

Psycho has been almost friendly to me since I started staying home.

He sit quietly under his cover in the mornings, until he hears my voice talking to Tom. Then he starts making noises. I have started uncovering him in the mornings. I fold the cover and open his cage. Then I get him a Cheezit cracker. He loves them. He knows the box when we take it out of the cupboard. He sees the red box and he starts hopping all over and chirping. We stick it into his seed dish and he hops right down and starts chowing down.

We have made some changes in the room. We got a good tax return and it arrived in time for a special customer appreciation sale at the local furniture store. We got a great deal on two new recliners. I got Tom one when we were living in Hermiston, but I have never had my own chair before.

Here's what it looked like in the store:

Mine is leather and a little darker than I would have picked out myself, but I LOVE it. It is so comfy! Both have nice firm seats and are set up a higher off the floor than his old one. Makes it easier to get out of. Mine rocks as well. I would have liked to get a swivel-rocker-recliner, but am very happy with it being a rocker. It's perfect for me.

We got free delivery and they hauled off our old sofa bed for free as well. Here's what Tom's looks like:

He lost his little compartments in the arms and all the goodies, but it's a much nicer chair structure-wise. When he sits in it, his feet barely touch the floor! It's huge. And SOOO comfortable!

We did some re-arranging and like the new set up. We still have our office area, but we stacked the bookcases and moved my craft boxes over by the window by my side of the bed.

Preparedness Note

2009-02-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

We have a new food storage/preparedness representative in our branch. She is the same lady who taught my mom the temple prep classes. I'm totally impressed with her and she has hit the ground running in getting us excited about preparedness again. (Our previous leader was totally inspired to get us all organized before the big winter storm December of 2007. During that one, we had hurricane force winds and power outages for three days. I mean the entire area was down, including the whole City of Newport.

She passed out some information that I am going to pass on. She brought it to our attention that the Church has set up a web page giving directions on how to prepare for the possibility of an avian flu pandemic. I haven't given much to attention to the media coverage of this, but when the church starts telling us things that we should do to prepare....well....

There something we are going to ordering, as a branch, that I thought was worth passing on, as well. She has found a stove that seems to be a great idea - and it is environmentally friendly! It burns both wood and charcoal VERY efficiently. AND it isn't very expensive.

I Have a Request

2009-02-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

I know we are all busy. (Well - YOU are all busy - Tom and I float along wondering what will come up next...)

BUT keeping family contact up is important. My kids need to know that Tom checks your blogs almost every day. (I do too - ) It has been weeks (months in SOME cases) since you have updated. Your dear old, excitement-deprived parents LOVE reading your blogs. It doesn't have to be full of pictures, or earth-shaking news. We just like to "feel" like we are in touch.

Tom REALLY likes reading the blogs better than Facebook. I am seriously addicted to Facebook - it's embarrassing to admit. I waste way too much time with the games and all the distraction it affords. But I miss reading your entries and feeling your personalities. Even a few sentences. We enjoy even the most mundane things. You don't have to be profound.

Okay?

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-13T22:33:00.000-08:00

"Twas the Night Before Valentine's Day...

2009-02-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

And it was Friday the 13th!!

No problems here. Maybe we are immune - still floating on our being an eternal family cloud. Things just FEEL different. Can't explain how - just that it does. There is a sense of ....peace. Way cool.

Today we got our tax refunds - both state and federal. We made a trip into Newport and got new tires on the Altima. (The back two were bald...) With two cars now, we don't have to use it as much and so have just been waiting for our tax refund. We had lunch out together, which is always fun. It was a beautiful day again. This winter has been quite unusually pretty. More breaks between the storms. The valley cities and metro Portland haven't had the same good fortune. Another blessing of being on the coast.

Tom is planning a trip to California next month, for any of you that haven't heard the news yet. He's going to see family and friends (include In & Out Burgers, Pinnacle Peak's, Molly's Cafe and Taco Joe's in his itinerary). Shall we say he WON'T be watching WW points for THIS vacation???

Molly's was the first "our place." He used to bring me breakfasts from there when we first started being interested in each other. It's located right across the street from the San Bernardino court house. It celebrates the Route 66 mystic. It is only open for breakfast and lunch. Amazing food. I LOVE their hash browns. Never seen found another place that makes better. They are my standard for judging anyone else's.

I've made trips away while he stayed home with my mom - most notably when I went to Utah to see Briggs. The only weekend that worked was Tom's birthday weekend. I went and have paid the price ever since! He would NEVER leave me home along on MY birthday.....sigh. So - this is his little mental hygiene vacation. Getting out of Waldport and my mom's house. He hasn't been down since before his mom passed away. This time he will have his own car and time to travel around and hit all of his old stomping grounds. He will get to spend time with his buddies at the county yard. I"m really excited for him. He deserves this.

January Was Busy!

2009-02-08T00:48:00.000-08:00

The end of January was PACKED with events and I've been tardy in updating my blog - like my family in UTAH!! so - here it goes!

We had a whirlwind visit from Matt "Octane" Wright. He had contacts to meet for his job and worked in getting to build me a new computer! It's SO amazingly fast, I can hardly believe it. I now can play any game I want on it - probably WHY it has taken me so long to update....

He also single-handedly took out the non-working stair lift we have been frustrated with since we moved in. What a bear of a job! But now the stairway is unobstructed!

While he was here, my mom and Tom got their patriarchal blessings. That was really a neat experience. My mom was quite impressed and was really excited to get the written copy so she could re-read it.

Matt left the morning of the 27th and we dropped him off at the airport on the way to the Portland Temple, so that my mom could take out her endowments. I had been worried about how it would go, with her memory problems; but with the wonderful temple workers help it turned out just fine.

This is a shot from the atrium, looking into the lobby area of the temple. It looked so beautiful!

Ericka was able to come in the session with us because Jared watched the kids for her. I was SO grateful to have her there. I was so nervous about my mom's reactions and attitude that having someone there as back-up relieved me. The couple who taught my mom the temple preparation classes also came to go through with her. It was really wonderful.

The 28th was Ericka's birthday! We celebrated with her while we were up the weekend before. I'm not sure it was a "happy" birthday - there were a lot of holes in our plans. I was balancing a lot of things and dropped quite a few...including doing a birthday post for her. But I DID get a cake....but it wasn't angel food...

Friday the 30th, we made another trip up to Portland. Samara and Scott and David and Jill were coming in on the same flight! We had a good visit catching up and getting ready for Saturday. \

Finally our big day arrived and we went to the temple early - WAY early. I guess that is pretty uncommon because no one there knew quite what to do with us. The entry desk was so surprised that they didn't even mark us off the list as having arrived. (Which scared all our guests later as they arrived.) Ericka and Jared were the first ones there for our sealing, and the temple workers thought THEY were the Archers! So the Skinners started wondering what could have happened and tried calling us to see where we were. Of course, our phones were off - we were in the TEMPLE! So there was a flurry of confusion and concern going on, of which we were totally unknowing.

We were asked to wait in the inside lobby area, as our escorts were still busy with another assignment. We WERE early. So, we sat and waited until a worker came with our file and took us into the records room to make sure all the paperwork was correct. We were doing four sealing that day and there were a lot of papers. We had talked to no less than three different people before going in the record room - but none of them passed on the information that we had arrived and were working on our paper work to our guest and escorts when they arrived. The concern and confusion continued outside our quiet little office.

Tom, as the time went on, felt the call of nature and excused himself to find a bathroom. He found a lot more than that outside the door. He was grabbed and questioned and all HE wanted to do was get to the latrine. Questions were answered. We were each escorted by our own little temple worker and things progressed. Before we could go into the sealing room, it was noticed that we hadn't been given our little yellow name tags that said who we were and that we were being sealed. I guess that is a big thing. They called the supervisor of the temple workers and she questioned us and made the trip back to the recording office to retrieve the yellow tags.

Coming back, she pinned them on for us and commented on the pile of paperwork we had left in our wake. I told her, "We don't do ANY thing easy. Sorry it rubbed off on you!" We then were able to take care of what needed to be done before going into the sealing room.

We walked in and there were all our family and friends. Samara was Tom's mother, which was neat. I had my mom there. It was so neat to sit and look at their smiling faces. He took such tender care of me as he walked me to the alter and helped me get on my knees. When we knelt across the alter from each other, it was amazing. We had waited so long for that. We just kept looking into each other's eyes and everything else seemed to melt away. We both had tears in our eyes by the end.

Then we had my mom sealed to my step-dad. Tom acted as proxy for my Poppo. The poor little sealer got confused with the names and had Tom as the one who was dead. He almost sealed Tom to my mom! Several of us said "No!" before it was too late. He realized his mistake and completed the sealing correctly. It was quite a day!

Then I was able to be sealed to my mom and Poppo. That was a lot more emotional for me than I thought it would be. It was the neatest thing. I had wanted to have "born in the covenant" on my children's records. It was just something that was really important to me. I wanted that blessing for them. And hearing the blessing that go with the sealing were just overwhelming for me. Suddenly I HAD those blessing for myself! I hadn't considered that and hadn't listened to the words before. They were to my very heart. It was such a wonderful feeling and moment.

Then Poppo was sealed to his parents. Quite a day.

New Quiet Book

2009-01-22T22:11:00.001-08:00

Making the first quiet book was fun - after it was all done. Now that I have one under my belt, I have a better idea of what will work and what won't. I had several patterns that I didn't get done in the first one. My mom has lots of notions and so what does all that add up to? The courage to try again!

Page one: A counting page. It has a marine theme. I found the cutest little buttons - crabs, starfishes, fishies, and silver seals. The single button will be an airplane - Coast Guard, supposedly.

Page two: A peek-a-boo page. You move the mittens down and...

There is a little girl, who will have a ribbon in her hair to practice tying.

It's only sketched now. I will color it in and take another picture of it later. For a little reader, they could just practice playing peek-a-boo.

New Mileposts in America

2009-01-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

In reading around the net this morning, I read the post of a friend who shared this link. America now has more people employed in government than in manufacturing. Wonder what that will portend? It doesn't bring peaceful feelings to my heart.

Second picture: The increase in mortgage foreclosures.

My Mom was born in 1929. The year of the Great Depression. I have been thinking a lot about how they must have felt then. A young couple with a new baby - and the economy in the hole. Probably not unlike a lot of people feel now. They must have been scared. They must of wondered "why?"

Cookie, Cookie - Which is the Best Cookie?

2009-01-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

I found these two totally decadent chocolate chip cookies recipes (did I mention Tom and I started going to Weight Watchers again? If you can't eat, you might as well surf for recipes!)

Since we are practicing self discipline - I'm putting out a request for samplers. Try these two recipes and let me know which one is the best, in your opinion. If I am going to break it down and figure out the points - I want it to be for the best cookie. When the sugar craving gets too bad, I will have a recipe in reserve. There are days when I am perfectly willing to eat salads and veggie soup to trade for a good cookie!

Here we go:

Double Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies
Annette Brower
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 t. vanilla
1/2 c. cocoa powder
1 ¾ c. flour
1 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
3 c. oatmeal
12 oz. chocolate chips, more or less

Bake at 350 for 9-10 minutes

Double Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies
Kris Smith
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup Crisco
1/4 milk
1 egg
2 2/3 cups oats
1 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp soda
(I always add about 2 cups chocolate chips)

Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes

Joseph Smith

2009-01-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

Class today was interesting. I'm repeatedly humbled by the opportunity teaching Gospel Doctrine gives me to grow and learn. It teaches me HOW to read the scriptures. It creates the curiosity in me to look deeper, research more. Every Sunday, I am the biggest recipient of knowledge.

I'm basically a straight arrow person. And I have to say that getting a testimony of Joseph Smith's vision did not come easily to me. In taking the missionary lessons forty years ago (holy cow - how did that happen? 40 years??!!), there were things that I did not question. I believed that that we should still have prophets and apostles. I believed that I had a "father" in heaven - a personal, loving parent - not some ethereal formless god. He had looked after me for years and I spoke to Him.

I wasn't sure about the Book of Mormon. It was hard for me to read. But - I received a witness that David O. McKay was the living spokesperson for the Lord. He was a prophet. In order for that to be true, all the rest had to be true and I accepted it in faith. I've wondered why my testimony started in that way - but it was enough. For most stuff.

When I went on my mission, we had to memorize the discussions. We had to testify to the fact that we knew that Joseph Smith DID see a vision, that he WAS a prophet. I could repeat his testimony almost word-perfect. But I couldn't bear witness. I COULD (and did) bear testimony that I believed those things to be true. And I felt badly about it. I felt like a phony.

I thank that same loving Heavenly Father for sending me to New York for my mission. I was born in Missouri, the "show me" state. Doing always teaches me more hearing or seeing. I got to see the birthplace of the Restoration. I walked the Sacred Grove - in the snow. I will never forget that day. I felt the spirit there. I didn't get my testimony, but I WAS touched. He knew what I needed.

I came back to California and went to school. I attended church. Sitting in Relief Society, one Sunday, I got my testimony of Joseph Smith. I don't know what the lesson was on that morning. They weren't talking about the Restoration. But the Spirit took me back to that grove and gave me a witness that what I had been testifying to actually DID happen. Faith wasn't necessary any more. I knew.

And there I was today - teaching this wonderful experience - WITH a testimony of it's truthfulness. I don't know. It was just so choice. It was the way I always WANTED it to be like while I was on my mission. I could stand there and FEEL the power behind his words:

"I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation."
Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith History 1:25

In our little branch we talk a lot about the importance of having a personal testimony of this. We believe that times and occurrences in the world are such that we won't be able to stand the things to come without this personal witness. I know what it is like to be able to say that I know the church is true and yet not be able to say that I KNEW Joseph Smith did indeed have a vision telling him that what he was looking for wasn't on the Earth at that time. I know the peace that knowledge brings. I hope the same is true for you.

We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ. He lives and looks after it as a bridegroom cares for His bride. It's true.

Spring is Coming!

2009-01-16T20:21:00.001-08:00

Back in October, I knew the "dark" was coming. I spent a day planting bulbs.

It was a beautiful day when they were planted. We are enjoying the same type of weather this week. I decided to check them again. I now have proof that spring is coming - perhaps sooner here than other places. I can handle the rain and wind that might be coming - I have crocus growing! This is the strawberry pot I wrote about. I planted daffodils and tulips in the top. The crocus was planted in the little "balconies." One has emerged.

I planted two basins of crocus.

As a mortal being, my memory is short. I get depressed when the days get short and there is mostly darkness. The storms wear on me. Our lovely ocean view often gets obscured. Sometimes the waves grow large and threatening.

And then a little bulb pops out of the ground. The promise of spring - and bigger promises come to mind.

First come the crocus. Then daffodils and tulips. The trees start blooming. The forest turns a thousand shades of green as each tree spouts new leaves in its own turn.

Then comes Easter. What a wonderful plan.

Celebrity Sighting in Waldport!!

2009-01-16T20:17:00.000-08:00

Who knew Scooby-Do was in town??!

He didn't sign any autographs.

Bead Crochet

2009-01-12T22:53:00.001-08:00

I tried combining two of the things I like to play with - beads and crochet. I tried this with Tom's discarded fish line. I thought it might work like those "floating necklaces" I've seen. It's different, but I really like how it looks.

They kind of remind me of Christmas lights. Maybe this would work for your ID badges, too, Samara, Chrissy? It's 20 lb line and has a little built in stretch because of the crochet stitch. What do you think?

The shot below is a necklace I tried making for Faith. I like how it twists.

I made myself a key chain holder, so I could find my keys easier in my bag.

And this little girl's bracelet. I'll have to see if the button/loop fastening works or not.

Sunday -Sunday

2009-01-12T12:28:00.000-08:00

Ever have one of those periods when EVERY thing falls apart? It's like a spiral-effect. Things aren't going well. I start feeling depressed and frustrated, which adds negative energy, which saps all my intiative. Everything starts looking hopeless.

I find myself in this cycle over and over. And the answer is always the same. I am becoming casual with Deity. My grasp on temperal success depends on my dedication to spiritual things. Truly. The routine, mandane things build spiritual strength. Provides armor against the attacks of the Advisary. Mine has been growing thin. Now I am just talking about routine prayers and scripture reading. But reducing those leaves me vunerable. The power of the scriptures in my life can not be over-stated.

When I was working nights at the plant, I would get scared - unless I studied my scriptures. I saw it over and over. Still I forget.

We are going to the temple. There is ALWAYS adversity when you are preparing eternal covenants. ALWAYS. I KNOW that. I was even thinking that. Still I wasn't prepared for the direction from which it came.

Somehow, the Spirit got that through to me yesterday. Thank God. Whatever would we do without the Atonement.

Saturday Night

2009-01-10T18:43:00.000-08:00

I can feel the brain cells dying by the hour. The boredom is killing me.

WHAT DO RETIRED PEOPLE DO???? I have finished my lesson. I have played computer games. I have facebook-ed. I have crochetted. I'm sick of TV. If I watch another movie I am going to scream.

Five things Tag

2009-01-08T18:46:00.000-08:00

I wasn't tagged, but I did it anyway. I read it on Chrissy's blog and thought it would be fun to do. I tag anyone whom is likewise moved.

5 things I was doing 5 years ago:
1. Living in St. Helens, Oregon
2. Working graveyard shift
3. Making beads for girl's camp
4. Working for the City of Portland's Wastewater Plant
5. Enjoying our bird, cat, dog and guinea pigs

5 Things on my to do list for today:
1. Have plumber look at Mom's toilet
2. Replace caulking around roll-in shower
3. Go back to Weight Watchers
4. Get estimates regarding house's settling problem
5. Work on my journal entries

5 things I would do with a million dollars:
1. Buy a house with some acreage
2. Donate to church educational fund
3. Establish college fund for all grand children
4. Go to Alaska
5. Buy camping supplies for the stake

5 Places I have lived:
1. Cortland, NY
2. Hanksville, UT
3. St Helens, OR
4. Rowland Heights, CA
5. Lenexa, KS

5 jobs I have held:
1. Cost Accounting Clerk
2. Accounts Receivable Clerk, NASA, Moffet Field, CA
3. Wastewater Operator
4. Admitting Clerk, on Ortho Ward
5. Driver in Auto Auction

First Week of 2009

2009-01-07T21:03:00.001-08:00

We've set another temple date - this time at the Portland Temple. We have an appointment for January 31st, at 2pm. I will be taking Mom to get her endowments Tuesday, the 27th. then she will be sealed to Poppo and Tom and I will be sealed Saturday. David and Jill Bozeman are flying out, so Dave can be Tom's witness. They will only be here for the weekend, but I'm thrilled they can make it.

Found an email address for Ann Finwall and was able to get a short note from her. She is teaching at the satellite college campus in Yreka, which just seems perfect. She says she has been there about a year.

Happy Birthday, Mom

2009-01-05T20:13:00.001-08:00

Mom is 80 this year.

Grandkids - Part Three

2008-12-31T18:44:00.001-08:00

This was Brenna's first Christmas as a walking participant. She got a bear quilt.

She LOVED it. Every time it was spread out, she climbed on it. And loved to be wrapped up in it.

Her personality is really coming out! As Jared said, "It's not always a good thing...she's got a temper!" She's also quite a clown!

Her favorite food group? CANDY! Anyone's. She kept finding the big suckers that her aunt and uncle from New Zealand sent them.

Unfortunately, the sucker she found wasn't always hers! And a war would result... Taking candy from a baby is NOT an easy thing! Jared could actually lift her off the chair before he could get it away from her! And when he did - you should have heard the protest!

She's a happy little girl! And SO quick! Keeping things out of her reach and notice kept me on my toes! And she would laugh the whole time she was running circles around me!

She doesn't like shoes! Truly MY granddaughter!

And her little fingers - here she is signing part of her Christmas presents - "Baby signing times." She wanted to watch her video. She learned the sign for "down" which proved very helpful in getting out of her high chair!

She didn't understand what the trip to P.I.R. was all about. But she had a great time! Barefoot. I tried to cover her with her new quilt and she would laugh and kick it off.

I have three other grand-kids in Utah. Thought I would be able to see them the weekend after Christmas when we all were at the temple. The weather changed that. Would love to see what their Christmas was like.

The Grandkids - Part Two

2008-12-30T00:27:00.001-08:00

Grandchild #2. Cayden. Melts your heart with his smiles.

Cayden's quilt was a blue puppy. All the kids LOVE their quilts and cuddled with them the whole time we were there. They won't know the time and love it took to complete them for Christmas morning until they are MUCH older. I think they will be treasured for many years.

Both Brenna and Cayden using their new blankets while watching TV

Caught in the car with it.
(Why doesn't this boy trust a Grandma with a camera in her pocket???)

These were taken in the car, by his mom, while coming home from seeing the lights at the Portland International Raceway.

Opening some presents.
I added some books to the Skinner family library. I finished the "Quiet Book" and plan to make one for each of the families, as the need arrives. So - Heather - I'll be working on your next. It wasn't the favorite toy Christmas day, but one they kept coming back to while I was there. I hope it works as intended.

Getting in trouble with Grandpa.

Cayden is so loving. He is the most thoughtful little boy. If his parents are talking about Brenna needing a bib, Cayden is getting up and heading to the kitchen to get one for her. He is VERY pro-active, which sometimes works well and other times gets him in trouble. But he is very generous with his hugs and cuddles. He has the biggest heart.

He loves Spiderman. And anything like Spiderman. Here he is with his "sticky hand." It's tacky enough to stick to these for a short while. He loved throwing it onto the ceiling and having it stick there.

He has numerous Spiderman poses that he will patiently pose in for pictures. He knows the value of keeping your fans happy! With fan comes great responsibility.
I love this next picture. Cayden found my sandals and came over to the table wearing them. Reminded me of the responsibility being a grandparent. There is always some little one watching, trying on your "shoes." Modeling what they see you do. How important it is to have your shoes worth filling.

As I watch my mom decline, and I look at my extended family, I realized something. There are less and less "elders" left. My grandparents are all gone. My dad is gone. Soon I will be the oldest one left in my personal family. The family tree is inverting. Once I was a little leaf on my family branch. Soon I will be the truck supporting the extending network. Odd feeling. To be the elder. Never considered this.

Vancouver - the Grandkids

2008-12-28T10:11:00.000-08:00

Ericka made a rag quilt for each of the kids. Many frustrations, late nights,and sore fingers - but such a great keepsake! Faith's was an aqua kitten one.

Once the presents were opened, this was how we saw Faith:

There were necessarily moments of providing the body with fuel....

And then back to the tasks at hand!

Saturday was going to be our day at the temple, but with the weather's intervention, that didn't happen. The roads improved, but not enough to make it to Tri-Cities. Seemed like someone ought to have a good temple visit, so I really wanted to babysit the kids so Ericka and Jared could go. They have a hard time getting babysitters, and Jared's work schedule is so unpredictable. They have planned several trips while visiting down in Medford and had them not work out. I knew they wanted to go and this was something I could DO to help.

I had two adults there with me and STILL was getting bamboozled by the little guys! Faith was my answer person. she knew were everything was and could translate Cayden-ese and Brenna's signing. I would have been lost without her. We didn't get to do ALL the things we wanted to do, but I hope we were able to make some memories.

I got an education about "heelies." Never heard of them before. Like secret shoe skates.

We went to the mall Monday. She held onto Grandma F's wheelchair and glided all over the mall as I pushed them both. Shopping took on a whole new aspect!

This year Faith made ALL her own Christmas presents, completing some of her Activity Days requirements. Getting to spend time with her created a variety of "(fill-in-blank) pants" jokes and a new and very personal rendition of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." And we won't talk about the Glow Golf score....

She's growing up so fast.

The Amazing, Vanishing Pies

2008-12-28T00:42:00.000-08:00

And then there were none......